Time is moving along at a very FAST pace! I just got home yesterday from clergy conference. It is much more a tribute to the quality of the conference than anything about me that I was able to be present there at all with any quality of attention. Especially considering that up until sometime late Saturday afternoon I thought that the conference started on TUESDAY! It didn't. It started Monday, as it always does. But for some reason, earlier on the dates had been published as May 4-6, and those had been put in my head and my planner, those had been the dates requested off work, scheduled with clients...yeah, the whole nine yards. Saturday afternoon, I finally got my room confirmation telling me my room would be waiting at the retreat center on May 3.....May WHAT?!?!? Omigish......Well that set a whole flurry of stuff in motion! Fortunately, the conference does start later in the day, so I was able to go into work early Monday morning, get most the clients rescheduled to Thursday and get on the road. But it got my week off to kind of a wild and crazy start. I just told our receptionist to blame it on addled wedding brain. She just laughed at me. Yeah. There's a lot of that going around. The addled brain and the laughing.
The conference really was good though. Lots of reconnecting with folks, learning and reflecting, chances for moments of prayer and singing together. Tuesday we did Public Narrative. I'd been asked to give one as an example, then to be a "coach" as folks worked on theirs through exercises during the day in small groups. That was all good. Kept me focused and busy. Tuesday night I went to a small group talking about "Doing Small Well" talking about church starts that basically require nothing more than "two or three gathering" for the sake of the Gospel in a hurting a world. Hmmmmm...... Wednesday we had some work on what we might look like if we left the world of church as we know it behind and truly concentrated on God's mission. It too was good and thought provoking. We then had one of the simplest and most beautiful bare-bones Episcopal liturgies I have ever experienced led by our new Bishop. We are very blessed by him. He brought to conference Ana Hernandez, who did things like this with us
There was more like this....and singing bowls, and chanting with an instrument called a shrooti (or shruti) box, and praying with a drum. So it was very, very good....to go and be with folks and feel actually relaxed and present, and centered and focused. And sadly, to also realize how frenetic my prayer life usually is. I feel like lately I sort of "drop in" on God for a quick chat. Perfunctory visits in the midst of twenty other things that are getting done in a day. Being there made me miss my daily yoga practice, made me long again to sit meditation. Made me wonder again what did ever happen to that particular lovely little morning discipline. Well I know what happened. One day I just woke up and didn't do it. Or the next day, or the next. And then it was gone. And some how starting again has felt like too much. So I haven't. But with that practice went some other good things that I am missing and really would like to have back in my life. So I am setting an intention that post-wedding, post-Texas....I really am going to get that space reclaimed both in my physical and emotional world and get back to the quiet and the mat every morning.
But in the meantime....nine days. Really it's a week. Because it all starts on Thursday. Soul Sister A arrives from The South, we have the shower and our bridesmaid slumber party....and it all rolls on from there. My biggest stressor right now is the budget. I keep waking up in the night remembering all the things we forgot to put in the budget....my last hair appointment, the food for the rehearsal dinner for heaven's sake! We are running a tight ship here, and I tend to want to panic over these little things. But I am trying to get myself to go to abundance, and to remember to "breathe in, breathe out....move on." In my heart I know all really will be well. I just need something to stress about and this works as well as anything, I guess. At least I am not worrying about anything important....like the marriage! About that there are NO worries. This is only money, and it'll all be ok in the end, I'm sure.
So back to work today. Trying to focus on the tasks at hand. Paperwork needs to be done and folks to be seen. Meetings keep happening. So off we go.
Thursday, May 06, 2010
Friday, April 30, 2010
Friday Five: Friendship
Kathrynzj says: "I spent the better part of last week on a continuing education cruise with a group of revgals. Both the class on hospitality and the connections made with friends (old and new) were phenomenal. I always have a difficult time with re-entry into reality from times away but this, aided by getting nailed with strep throat, has been more difficult than usual. Not only does it a take a few days (weeks? months?) for it to stop feeling like I am on a boat, but my heart misses my friends.In parish life the boundaries are clear and they are there for a reason, but it can make the life of a minister a lonely one. It is such a tremendous gift to spend a few days with women who not only are wonderful and gifted, but who also get exactly what you do and why you do it. The hugs are genuine and free and the laughter is awesome.Many of us have friendships - past and present - with these same qualities. And so today we will celebrate Friday with friendship:"
1) Do you remember your first best friend? What did you do together? Are they still in your life?My first "BFF(s) were a group of girls I connected with in eighth grade. Before that I was pretty much a loner, and teaming up with Dodie, Mare and Shorty (yes, we had nicknames, I was Jinx...who knows!?!) was a wonderful thing. I remember the blue mohair sweaters we all bought at J.C. Penney and wore with our uniform skirts, getting together at one another's houses after school to play games and gab, and just hanging out. We banded together initially because the cool girls wouldn't have us as part of their gang....but then we discovered that we actually did like each other. The three of them went off to the same high school and I veered off to "the Viz" and we lost touch. Maybe I should Facebook them!
2) Did you ever have to move away or have your best friend move away from you? Not until this year. Close friend Soul Sister A moved to South Carolina. But she's coming for the wedding and we are having a slumber party! Woo-hoo!
3) Are there people in your life now that you can call 'friend'? Thanks be, there are. In ways I would not have begun to comprehend at an earlier age. Richer, deeper, surer. And my best friend? I'm going to marry him.
4) What are some of your favorite things to do with your friends? Talk. Talk. Oh, and then there's talk.
5) What is a gift friendship has given you? Oh so many.... But the best one? To begin to see myself reflected in a different way in the eyes of those who loved me.... kinder, softer...than I would ever have seen myself with all those old critical voices I used to carry, opening the possibility for the first time that I could let them go, find the authentic me that lived within. I owe that to friendship and love. That's a great great gift. Along with acceptance and laughter and unconditional love and great hugs and secret code words....and way, way too many things to even mention.
1) Do you remember your first best friend? What did you do together? Are they still in your life?My first "BFF(s) were a group of girls I connected with in eighth grade. Before that I was pretty much a loner, and teaming up with Dodie, Mare and Shorty (yes, we had nicknames, I was Jinx...who knows!?!) was a wonderful thing. I remember the blue mohair sweaters we all bought at J.C. Penney and wore with our uniform skirts, getting together at one another's houses after school to play games and gab, and just hanging out. We banded together initially because the cool girls wouldn't have us as part of their gang....but then we discovered that we actually did like each other. The three of them went off to the same high school and I veered off to "the Viz" and we lost touch. Maybe I should Facebook them!
2) Did you ever have to move away or have your best friend move away from you? Not until this year. Close friend Soul Sister A moved to South Carolina. But she's coming for the wedding and we are having a slumber party! Woo-hoo!
3) Are there people in your life now that you can call 'friend'? Thanks be, there are. In ways I would not have begun to comprehend at an earlier age. Richer, deeper, surer. And my best friend? I'm going to marry him.
4) What are some of your favorite things to do with your friends? Talk. Talk. Oh, and then there's talk.
5) What is a gift friendship has given you? Oh so many.... But the best one? To begin to see myself reflected in a different way in the eyes of those who loved me.... kinder, softer...than I would ever have seen myself with all those old critical voices I used to carry, opening the possibility for the first time that I could let them go, find the authentic me that lived within. I owe that to friendship and love. That's a great great gift. Along with acceptance and laughter and unconditional love and great hugs and secret code words....and way, way too many things to even mention.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Tell Me Your Story....
I actually have something to think about that has taken my mind off the wedding, and what's been even more consuming, the getting of the last details together for that trip to Texas for a little bit. Who knew that was even possible at this point! But it's true. My clergy friend D with whom I had all the great Millennium Development Goal adventures in "my year of living Di" as I like to think of it now, has been in touch recently. Seems our new Bishop has asked her to do some teaching on Public Narrative at our clergy conference next week. And she is turn is calling upon some of us who have involved with her in this process in our parish MDG projects to help "demo" by giving our own public narratives, being coached and then coaching others in small groups. "Oh, would you, Kate?" she asks...and of course, I said yes. Well what I said was (with some tongue in cheek) "it's not enough that I'm coming to clergy conference the week before the wedding, now I have to work too!"
So I have been working on my public narrative....which is basically a story in three parts, and goes something like this....
Part I Story of Self: I am calling you (my audience) to this challenge because of this about me....
Part II Story of Us: We have faced and overcome this similar challenge in this way.....
Part III Story of Now: NOW is the urgent moment we need to act on this challenge because....
And the best part....it all happens in six minutes!
So as part of my prep for this, I've been going back through some of the things I wrote during that year...and remembering. That was quite the time. There is no doubt that we did good work. We raised significant money for our project, which was important all by itself. But beyond that, I think for a time there I believed that we were going to transform something in a BIG way....the church, our parish, our individual selves maybe..... And while perhaps that did not happen quite the way I envisioned it, I think we did do some transformative work. The process changed me. I claimed myself as a writer because I participated in this. And I knew myself to be part of something larger in a new way. And I know it changed others, too. One of my congregants who participated as part of our team foun his own voice as a result of telling his story. Another, sad to say, found a well of anger in herself and decided to walk away from us. But that too is a part of growth and transformation. The fire burns both ways sometimes as it transforms us. It was quite a time as times of change are. Heady and wild, deep and full of the Spirit running among us. I remember at the training we had with the folks from the Kennedy Center. As we were drawing our diagrams and doing our brainstorming we declared so confidently that we were setting out to "DO the Gospel." And for a little time there, it seemed that we did. Missional church, right here, right now, burning among us. The fires have banked a bit, and I'm feeling a bit of sad nostalgia for those hotter times right now. As ever, balance is so challenging. But who knows, maybe telling the storis again will bring something back to life again. Stories often do. Isn't that after all, why we tell them?
So I have been working on my public narrative....which is basically a story in three parts, and goes something like this....
Part I Story of Self: I am calling you (my audience) to this challenge because of this about me....
Part II Story of Us: We have faced and overcome this similar challenge in this way.....
Part III Story of Now: NOW is the urgent moment we need to act on this challenge because....
And the best part....it all happens in six minutes!
So as part of my prep for this, I've been going back through some of the things I wrote during that year...and remembering. That was quite the time. There is no doubt that we did good work. We raised significant money for our project, which was important all by itself. But beyond that, I think for a time there I believed that we were going to transform something in a BIG way....the church, our parish, our individual selves maybe..... And while perhaps that did not happen quite the way I envisioned it, I think we did do some transformative work. The process changed me. I claimed myself as a writer because I participated in this. And I knew myself to be part of something larger in a new way. And I know it changed others, too. One of my congregants who participated as part of our team foun his own voice as a result of telling his story. Another, sad to say, found a well of anger in herself and decided to walk away from us. But that too is a part of growth and transformation. The fire burns both ways sometimes as it transforms us. It was quite a time as times of change are. Heady and wild, deep and full of the Spirit running among us. I remember at the training we had with the folks from the Kennedy Center. As we were drawing our diagrams and doing our brainstorming we declared so confidently that we were setting out to "DO the Gospel." And for a little time there, it seemed that we did. Missional church, right here, right now, burning among us. The fires have banked a bit, and I'm feeling a bit of sad nostalgia for those hotter times right now. As ever, balance is so challenging. But who knows, maybe telling the storis again will bring something back to life again. Stories often do. Isn't that after all, why we tell them?
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
There's a ONE in Front of THAT NUMBER!
WE ARE IN THE TEENS!
I have condensed all the small lists into one major one. There is really not much left on it. And that is a good thing...because we are in the home stretch here. We have pretty much done all we can and have to do until we are at the big day itself, or at least much closer. It is really too soon to get the food for the groom's dinner or haul home the extra tables and chairs. We can't decorate anything, dress anyone, cook anything. In short, right now, there is really nothing I can be in control of. And it's making me a little crazy. Just ask R.
It's all out there. The caterer, the DJ, the flower and cake people, the piper and the vocalists, the organist and clergy, the folks who are shipping R's wedding wear....all completely independent actors in this little play called "Kate and Rick's Wedding," and all capable of making choices that could change the day. Note I am sane enough still to say "change" the day and not big and awfulizing words like "destroy" or "ruin." The only person with enough power to do that is me. And for sure and certain I would not....and NOT over any of the people or things listed!
The thing is....we have the important things covered. R, me a license and clergy. Clergy? Oh my yes....and then some! For starters, we are being married by three of them...my two team members, CT and M, with able assist from my spiritual friend and guide C who will preach. Also available in case of some unimaginable clergy wipe-out, however....my attendant CMR is an ordained lay pastor, my one of my vocalists is also a lay pastor ( though I'm not sure if she has the power to wed), and there will be at least one Episcopal priest in the pews. And I'm sure there will be a witness or two present, as despite my earlier rant, there have been a few RSVP's in the affirmative. So we will be married. Affirming before God and all assembled what WE already know to be true....he's mine, I'm his. It's forever. Amen. And the rest is party.
It's just the planning for that party that has me kind of wound up. Wanting all the pieces to come together just right. And I keep thinking of things to add little touches of fun and surprise. But I think we really are there. I have my two totes packed, one for the church and one for the reception site, both brimful of those "little touches." There are still some ribbons to add and bows to tie, gifts to wrap for my "maids" as the bridal shop keeps calling them. I find myself running through the whole thing in my head trying to think of what I may have missed.
But in the end...it will all be what it will be. And it will be wonderful, I know. As my sweet and wise beloved keeps reminding me..."Breathe in, breathe, out...move on." Yes, dear.
I have condensed all the small lists into one major one. There is really not much left on it. And that is a good thing...because we are in the home stretch here. We have pretty much done all we can and have to do until we are at the big day itself, or at least much closer. It is really too soon to get the food for the groom's dinner or haul home the extra tables and chairs. We can't decorate anything, dress anyone, cook anything. In short, right now, there is really nothing I can be in control of. And it's making me a little crazy. Just ask R.
It's all out there. The caterer, the DJ, the flower and cake people, the piper and the vocalists, the organist and clergy, the folks who are shipping R's wedding wear....all completely independent actors in this little play called "Kate and Rick's Wedding," and all capable of making choices that could change the day. Note I am sane enough still to say "change" the day and not big and awfulizing words like "destroy" or "ruin." The only person with enough power to do that is me. And for sure and certain I would not....and NOT over any of the people or things listed!
The thing is....we have the important things covered. R, me a license and clergy. Clergy? Oh my yes....and then some! For starters, we are being married by three of them...my two team members, CT and M, with able assist from my spiritual friend and guide C who will preach. Also available in case of some unimaginable clergy wipe-out, however....my attendant CMR is an ordained lay pastor, my one of my vocalists is also a lay pastor ( though I'm not sure if she has the power to wed), and there will be at least one Episcopal priest in the pews. And I'm sure there will be a witness or two present, as despite my earlier rant, there have been a few RSVP's in the affirmative. So we will be married. Affirming before God and all assembled what WE already know to be true....he's mine, I'm his. It's forever. Amen. And the rest is party.
It's just the planning for that party that has me kind of wound up. Wanting all the pieces to come together just right. And I keep thinking of things to add little touches of fun and surprise. But I think we really are there. I have my two totes packed, one for the church and one for the reception site, both brimful of those "little touches." There are still some ribbons to add and bows to tie, gifts to wrap for my "maids" as the bridal shop keeps calling them. I find myself running through the whole thing in my head trying to think of what I may have missed.
But in the end...it will all be what it will be. And it will be wonderful, I know. As my sweet and wise beloved keeps reminding me..."Breathe in, breathe, out...move on." Yes, dear.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Friday Five: What is There to Smile About?
Jan says: "With the end of RevGalBlogPals' third annual Big Event, I am wondering who went and what it was like. There must be a lot of smiling from the Big Event! Hopefully, the rest of us are not frowning either.So let us know how your past week was for you. Write five different aspects of the weekOR answer the following questions:"1. When were you smiling lately? When my sweet guy came to pick me up at the shower my workmates threw bearing the beautiful flowers pictured above! He is such a keeper!
2. What happened unexpectedly to you this past week? I got an e-mail from a friend asking about "details and directions" for the wedding. It reminded me that I forgot to invite her and her sweetie. OOPS!
3. How was a catastrophe averted (or not)? See # 2. Invitation sent pronto!
4. What was the most delicious thing you ate? Jambalaya. Made by R from recipe in a cookbook my friend CMR brought him back from the Bayou (slightly modified for midwestern ingredients). YUM!
5. Did you see any good movies or read any books or articles? No, but I went to two really fascinating workshops on neurobiology, and how meditation and mindfullness actually changes our brains.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Sweet Events
As my sweetheart told me last night, "you have really nice friends." Yep, that I do. Coworkers, to be exact. Threw me a really lovely shower they did. We met at one of the local hotels, had drinks and dinner. There were little boxes of chocolates and nuts, decorations and cake, as you see. And presents....lots and lots of lovely presents. Gift certificates for pedicures and massages, a couple nice bottles of wine, some very nice little things for me to wear....of the black and slinky persuasion! There were cookie sheets and Tupperware, gift cards and wine glasses, a beautiful picture frame and an album for the wedding pics. All just very thoughtful and wonderful gifts.And thanks to the very wonderful organizer, there were no silly games! She had talked to me beforehand about that and told me her thoughts on that....about which I was in total agreement. We had a drawing at the end for the violets that she used as centerpieces. I drew the names. That worked!
I picked up the service bulletins yesterday. They look really nice. One more thing off the list. And now the first social event has happened. We really are picking up steam here. OK....focus....back to work. Still have three weeks to go. Must. Be. Productive.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
I Has Jitters
I seem to be sort of useless today. Having a hard time settling in to do the things I need to get done. I wonder if it has anything to do with the tick, tick, tick in my head....Twenty-four days. Or three weeks and two days....or 566 hours, 32 minutes and some seconds as the little counter on the blog tells me. I had an e-mail on Sunday night from a friend asking about "details and directions" for the wedding. All well and good, you say, except for one thing...I realized that I had forgotten to invite them! So now my brain has gone off on that little tangent. Who else, I wonder, have I forgotten? Or for that matter, what? Something...vital or not....that I was supposed to remember to do, get, take care of.....My lists are my friends. But in order for lists to be effective things have to be ON the lists.
Pet peeve of the day....people who don't RSVP. Is that something unique to this part of the world, or are people just universally not good about this? My invitations were, I thought very clever, with a little tear off post-card part for the rsvp....complete, or course with the stamp. All very simple. I have not heard a word from twenty people, yea or nay. So do I assume no news is a no and they are NOT coming? Obviously not, because I know for a fact that some of them really are! I told R that in my shrewier moments I feel like those who have not responded should have to stand and watch the others eat...but he, kind soul that he is, says, "no honey...we will just order extra, and assume more are coming than have responded." A couple people told me they "accidentally" threw out the response card but they are coming. Sigh. Oh well. At least I know.
My other meh for the day....the cleaner DID shrink my dress....not a lot, just a tich. It is silk and they washed not dry cleaned it. And now it hangs just a little different, pulls just a little er....snugger in a couple places. So I am trying to eat less and walk more and hope that by the 15th it will feel as lovely as it did before. The good news is that they did get the tiny coffee stain out. I am trying not to obsess about this. It is not the end of the world.
On the happy news front, our new cabinet has arrived and that and the new dishwasher are being installed this week. The cabinet is beautiful and it classes the heck out of the kitchen. The fact that we were getting it created motivation for new light fixtures which in turn caused ceiling patching and painting which triggered wall touch-ups....so the kitchen will be its best self ever very soon.
My workmates are throwing me a shower tonight. The last one of these I went to involved lots of er....interesting lingerie type items. I'm not sure if that is what they have in mind for me or not. But I appreciate the thought and I'm sure we will have fun.
I guess getting back to work , and at least trying to focus on the task at hand would be a good thing. I have a feeling this could be a portent of the next few weeks and my productivity level.....
Pet peeve of the day....people who don't RSVP. Is that something unique to this part of the world, or are people just universally not good about this? My invitations were, I thought very clever, with a little tear off post-card part for the rsvp....complete, or course with the stamp. All very simple. I have not heard a word from twenty people, yea or nay. So do I assume no news is a no and they are NOT coming? Obviously not, because I know for a fact that some of them really are! I told R that in my shrewier moments I feel like those who have not responded should have to stand and watch the others eat...but he, kind soul that he is, says, "no honey...we will just order extra, and assume more are coming than have responded." A couple people told me they "accidentally" threw out the response card but they are coming. Sigh. Oh well. At least I know.
My other meh for the day....the cleaner DID shrink my dress....not a lot, just a tich. It is silk and they washed not dry cleaned it. And now it hangs just a little different, pulls just a little er....snugger in a couple places. So I am trying to eat less and walk more and hope that by the 15th it will feel as lovely as it did before. The good news is that they did get the tiny coffee stain out. I am trying not to obsess about this. It is not the end of the world.
On the happy news front, our new cabinet has arrived and that and the new dishwasher are being installed this week. The cabinet is beautiful and it classes the heck out of the kitchen. The fact that we were getting it created motivation for new light fixtures which in turn caused ceiling patching and painting which triggered wall touch-ups....so the kitchen will be its best self ever very soon.
My workmates are throwing me a shower tonight. The last one of these I went to involved lots of er....interesting lingerie type items. I'm not sure if that is what they have in mind for me or not. But I appreciate the thought and I'm sure we will have fun.
I guess getting back to work , and at least trying to focus on the task at hand would be a good thing. I have a feeling this could be a portent of the next few weeks and my productivity level.....
Friday, April 16, 2010
Pack Your Bags Friday Five
Songbird says: "I'm preparing to pack my bags for the Big Event Three, and as I gather what I need I'm thinking about just that: what do I *need* to take with me? As a person who likes to pack light, I worry that in the end I may underpack and wish I had other things with me. I own the gigantor version of the bag to the right, but my morbid fear of having it go astray and not get to the ship means I'm more likely to try to pack it all in a carry-on bag instead, especially since I have a very tight connection on the way to the cruise. But won't I be sorry if I don't bring _______________?"
1) Some fold, some roll and some simply fling into the bag. What's your technique for packing clothes? As in most things, I have an eclectic style....a little rolling, a little folding, and when it gets down to the wire, I have been known to fling a thing or two. I like to do the roll things into things so they don't wrinkle, and also tuck the little stuff into shoes and other spots. Actually I think I am usually a pretty good packer. I lay everything out that I plan to take and then subtract half of it...and often still end up with more than I need! For our own Big Event, the upcoming honeymoon road trip to Texas, R and I have decided to keep it light so I'm challenging myself to see if I can pack almost as small as he does. I say almost because this is a man who could, I think tour the world for a month with all his belongings in a small paper lunch sack! So there will be much rolling, folding and tucking and NO flinging, as I attempt to pack a wee bag to tuck into the boot of Gladys the Cooper. Really though, what does one need for riding in a car, sitting on a beach in Galveston and hanging with 1) RevGals and, 2)Jimmy Buffett? Comfy clothes, a swimsuit and cute sandals, I'm thinkin!
2) The tight regulations about carrying liquids on planes makes packing complicated. What might we find in your quart-size bag? Ever lose a liquid that was too big? Oh those regs rankle! My first BE found me getting sent back to the check in counter to check my luggage as an alternative to losing a whole bunch of bottles as I hadn't flown in a while and had no idea there even were rules about 3 oz. bottles in baggies. The lovely people unpacked my entire carry-on right there in front of God and everyone and gave me the "option" of losing all my contact solution, lotions, shampoo and such, or "go check the bag." So, after repacking (no nearly so neatly as the first time...much flinging...) off I went! Had the best time once there, too....and if it weren't for this other l'il thing going on, I'd be there with all y'all this time!
3) What's something you can't imagine leaving at home? Contacts and their solution. Glasses fulltime on vacay...not an option! Everything else I can pretty much get...but I'm fussy about my "soak."
4) Do you have a bag with wheels? Never leave home without one unless I'm going on a very short hop with minimal stuff. Wonder how we ever traveled before them!
5) What's your favorite reading material for a non-driving trip (plane, train, bus, ship)? I am still a nervous flyer and have some problems concentrating, so anything I read has to either be pretty "fluffy" or very absorbing. I usually go with magazines on airplanes, or else pick a popular novel that I have already started so that I can easily sink into it once we are in flight. On the BE, there were WAY too many other interesting things going on to do any reading (like talk to RevGals and get tats!), and I don't have the opportunity to travel by bus or train these days.
Friday, April 09, 2010
Friday Five: On the Road Again
Sophia says: "My family is heading out to my husband's parents for the weekend later today. They would have preferred that we come at Easter, but I preferred that my choir director not bring my life to an early end! (Five liturgies to sing between Thursday and Sunday, two with major solos). So Low Sunday it is. Some Gals and Pals may have been able to travel to join family or visit a vacation spot last week; some who had to stay put then may be traveling this weekend; and, if I recall correctly, some lucky ones are heading out to the Big Event next weekend. Hence: a road trip Friday Five"1. When was your last, or will be your next, out of town travel?
Last: Last weekend when I did "skip Easter" and we went to R's sister's house for the Holiday and I got to have a different kind of Easter worship experience which I posted about on the blog a couple days ago.
Next: Our own "Big Event" honeymoon road trip to Texas! can't wait to see me some Rev Gals, as well as go to that Jimmy Buffett concert, of course! And have some beachy time and soak up some HOT which I have been craving during this long cold Northern Winter.
2. Long car trips: love or loathe? Since the arrival of the splendid R and his cute little mini Cooper "Gladys" I have to say I have fallen in love....oh yeah, with road trips, too. It is one our favorite things to do together, near or far. Just jump in Gladys, open up the sun roof and Wheeeeeee.....off we go!!!!!
3. Do you prefer to be driver or passenger? I used to have to drive. It was all about that need to control, I think. Now, not so much. I can share...sit back and relax and see the sights, or take my turn at the wheeeeeeeel...er wheel as needed.
4. If passenger, would you rather pass the time with handwork, conversing, reading, listening to music, or ??? I can't read in the car....headache of major proportions. When it's R and I, we can never seem to run out of things to talk about. But we also like to sing along to the radio. Loud! I can knit and crochet....and talk and/or sing at the same time, so do those together. When traveling alone, I LOVE LOVE LOVE books on CD to pass the trip, especially since I seem to go back and forth and back and forth to the same places all the time and need to break the monotony.
5. Are you going, or have you ever gone, on a RevGals BE? Happiest memories of the former, and/or most anticipated pleasures of the latter? Oh, sigh...yes. This will be the first one I am missing, and if it were not for my own BIG BE on May 15th, I'd be cruising with all y'all with bells on! The first one especially was liminal, transformational and soooo amazing. The combination of where I was in my my own life, the "away-ness" of it all, the fact that I simply decided at kind of the last minute to go, there was space....it was all such a God thing. The second one was lovely as well. My best memories of that time were the night singing out under the stars and the moments spent in conversations.
6. Bonus: a favorite piece of road trip music....ANYTHING Jimmy Buffet sings is good for me...he will be singing us down through Tulsa, DFW, Houston and on to Galveston in May. He even gets to sing our first dance music at the wedding....
Tuesday, April 06, 2010
Yipes!
I signed on here this morning and looked at the little "how many days is it..." counter and realized there is a 3 as the first number. Oh. My. Goodness. Butterflies doing a little dance in my stomach. It must be excitement, because it can't be nervousness. Everything is done and ready. We went and registered for the license yesterday. In five days we can pick it up. The nice lady told us in our state they do not mail them because "if they get lost in the mail, well, it's not good." Yeah, I can well imagine! In filling out the form I was asked to fill in the "bride's name after marriage" and found myself writing my new hyphenated moniker for the first time. While we were waiting for the clerk to input our data into the computer R and I were making a list of all the changes that one hyphen will affect. New driver's license, new passport, new professional licensure....on and on. He asked me if I was sure it was worth it, to go through all this to add his name to mine. Because this is my thing, not his. He has no need of this. But for some reason it is important to me. Maybe because this came so late to me....this first and only marriage, the public aspects of it are important. And frankly, let's face it, because inside this strong feminist woman, beats a romantic traditional heart . There is a part of me that wants the world to know that I am publicly, legally and forever linked to RK. I am his and that is that. He likes to remind me that names and ceremonies are not the stuff that creates this bond, and I know this...truly I do. But I also know that ritual and symbol matter, too. Will we be more committed to one another on May 15 after the ceremony than we already are? Of course not! But having said that, I would not forego publicly celebrating that commitment, either.
So, right now, we are planning the largest party I have ever thrown. And yes, I am a little nervous, a lot excited, in those proportions. There was once a time when I literally could not entertain. Even small events would throw me into such a tizz that it was simply not worth the anguish. What if no-one came? What if it was a disaster? What if? What if? What if? That very anxious and insecure me still lurks, though I am able to soothe her most days. There is no doubt that people are coming and a good time will be had on this one! My lurking doubts on this one are things like catering and dj no-shows....but I am assured that even though the contractual arrangements are a bit more casual than my "big-city" past would find comfort in, all will be well and people will show and deliver at the appointed time. And if not....well, we can call out for pizza, and R has enough music in his iPod that we could dock it in a speaker set up and dance for days. We have two priests and a Presby minister on tap for the ceremony and enough guests have already said yes that I'm sure there will be a witness here somewhere. I am quite sure the two of us will appear....all the essentials are in place.It's all good. The dancing butterflies are excitement...not nerves.
So, right now, we are planning the largest party I have ever thrown. And yes, I am a little nervous, a lot excited, in those proportions. There was once a time when I literally could not entertain. Even small events would throw me into such a tizz that it was simply not worth the anguish. What if no-one came? What if it was a disaster? What if? What if? What if? That very anxious and insecure me still lurks, though I am able to soothe her most days. There is no doubt that people are coming and a good time will be had on this one! My lurking doubts on this one are things like catering and dj no-shows....but I am assured that even though the contractual arrangements are a bit more casual than my "big-city" past would find comfort in, all will be well and people will show and deliver at the appointed time. And if not....well, we can call out for pizza, and R has enough music in his iPod that we could dock it in a speaker set up and dance for days. We have two priests and a Presby minister on tap for the ceremony and enough guests have already said yes that I'm sure there will be a witness here somewhere. I am quite sure the two of us will appear....all the essentials are in place.It's all good. The dancing butterflies are excitement...not nerves.
Sunday, April 04, 2010
Easter Comes Ready or Not!
It's not the first time in my life that I've thought that God might have a sense of humor...and that it might be just a tad on the dry side. It had been kind of a hard Holy Week....I struggled with the services....it felt like there were so many words, so much ritual, and I had such a hard time feeling a connection with it. It felt a little, well, stale....like old things done too often that had perhaps lost their meaning, at least for me this year.
Easter morning found R and I on the road motoring across the state. We had decided that since this was the first holiday since his dad's death, we really wanted to be with his family. So I excused myself from my place this morning and did a little research to find the Episcopal church closest to his sister's that would work out time wise to allow us to have worship and arrive for dinner with the family. Early this morning we headed out and as we were driving along and chatting about this and that, I was sharing some of my Holy week discontent with R and saying...."Gee I wonder what it would be like if there was an Episcopal church that used some of the praise and worship style music and liturgy that you usually find in more Evangelical churches, rather than the very traditional worship that we are used to?"
Well now I know. It turns out that the church we ended up in for Easter service had exactly that! There was a drummer, a guy on an electric guitar and the music was definitely not done in the traditional style. Some of the other aspects of the worship service were also done differently than I am used to. I found myself taken a bit aback by it all. I guess I am a little more traditional than I'd like to think. Or perhaps I can't be pleased no matter what. But it definitely felt a little like "be careful what you ask for."
The sermon was a definite bright spot however. "Where is Jesus, anyway?" was the question of the day. I think it's the question I wrestled with mightily through Holy Week....what do all the words and ritual have to do with Jesus? I don't know that I have an answer. The priest's answer to the congregation today was clear. Here. Here in this place. Here where you have those that love and care about and do for and serve one another just as Mary and John and Peter did. They did it, she said, even when they really didn't get it. So maybe it's ok if I muddle along ,too, not really sure about why I'm a little fuzzy on some of the fine points right now.
Big picture....Jesus is here too....in the love of my new family who seem to be taking me in....just as I am. In the gift of my sweet R, soon to be vowed forever mine in front of God and everyone! In the grace of simple things, in saying goodbye to our congregant P whom we laid to rest on Holy Saturday, in navigating well the changes that are coming in our team as we change and shift in our roles, remembering that just because we can does not mean we should and that working harder is not always what God really wants of us.
Three years ago today, I baptized a lovely little baby girl. One of her sponsors was a handsome man named R. There was something about that man that caught me....I never forgot him, and in forty two days.....I will be marrying him. Again I say, sometimes I really do think God has a sense of humor.
Happy Easter.
Easter morning found R and I on the road motoring across the state. We had decided that since this was the first holiday since his dad's death, we really wanted to be with his family. So I excused myself from my place this morning and did a little research to find the Episcopal church closest to his sister's that would work out time wise to allow us to have worship and arrive for dinner with the family. Early this morning we headed out and as we were driving along and chatting about this and that, I was sharing some of my Holy week discontent with R and saying...."Gee I wonder what it would be like if there was an Episcopal church that used some of the praise and worship style music and liturgy that you usually find in more Evangelical churches, rather than the very traditional worship that we are used to?"
Well now I know. It turns out that the church we ended up in for Easter service had exactly that! There was a drummer, a guy on an electric guitar and the music was definitely not done in the traditional style. Some of the other aspects of the worship service were also done differently than I am used to. I found myself taken a bit aback by it all. I guess I am a little more traditional than I'd like to think. Or perhaps I can't be pleased no matter what. But it definitely felt a little like "be careful what you ask for."
The sermon was a definite bright spot however. "Where is Jesus, anyway?" was the question of the day. I think it's the question I wrestled with mightily through Holy Week....what do all the words and ritual have to do with Jesus? I don't know that I have an answer. The priest's answer to the congregation today was clear. Here. Here in this place. Here where you have those that love and care about and do for and serve one another just as Mary and John and Peter did. They did it, she said, even when they really didn't get it. So maybe it's ok if I muddle along ,too, not really sure about why I'm a little fuzzy on some of the fine points right now.
Big picture....Jesus is here too....in the love of my new family who seem to be taking me in....just as I am. In the gift of my sweet R, soon to be vowed forever mine in front of God and everyone! In the grace of simple things, in saying goodbye to our congregant P whom we laid to rest on Holy Saturday, in navigating well the changes that are coming in our team as we change and shift in our roles, remembering that just because we can does not mean we should and that working harder is not always what God really wants of us.
Three years ago today, I baptized a lovely little baby girl. One of her sponsors was a handsome man named R. There was something about that man that caught me....I never forgot him, and in forty two days.....I will be marrying him. Again I say, sometimes I really do think God has a sense of humor.
Happy Easter.
Friday, April 02, 2010
Friday Five: Good Friday
Sally says: "It seems almost irreverent to post a Friday Five on Good Friday, so I will try to treat it with some respect. I am still mulling over the darkness of last nights Tenebrae Service, the silence as we left was profound, and although I travelled home with others we did not speak, there was a holiness about it.....and yet we know that holiness was born of horror!So as we enter into this darkest of days I offer you this Friday Five:"
1. Of all the gospel accounts of the crucifixion, which one stands out for you, and why? Today, this year...John. It seems more focused on Jesus, less on the the atmospherics, the other details surrounding, if that makes any sense. That is where I am this Holy Week. Another year might get a wholly different response.
2.Do you identify with any people in this account, how does that challenge you? Peter...sigh...and I wish I didn't.
3. Hymns or silence? The hymns and many of the words, for that matter this year did not touch my soul. I think silence might have had a better chance.
4. Post a poem or a quote that sums up Good Friday for you? I don't know that it exactly sums up Good Friday...but it's a favorite and speaks to me about something that resonates with this day.....
No, no, there is no going back.
Less and less you are
that possibility you were.
More and more you have become
those lives and deaths
that have belonged to you.
You have become a sort of grave
containing much that was
and is no more in time, beloved
then, now, and always.
And so you have become a sort of tree
standing over a grave.
Now more than ever you can be
generous toward each day
that comes, young, to disappear
forever, and yet remain
unaging in the mind.
Every day you have less reason
not to give yourself away.
~ Wendell Berry ~
5.Is there a tradition you could not be without, a tradition that makes Good Friday, Good Friday? Once I would have said the Stations of the Cross. But this year there have already been too many words in Holy Week....so......maybe it's time for new traditions.
1. Of all the gospel accounts of the crucifixion, which one stands out for you, and why? Today, this year...John. It seems more focused on Jesus, less on the the atmospherics, the other details surrounding, if that makes any sense. That is where I am this Holy Week. Another year might get a wholly different response.
2.Do you identify with any people in this account, how does that challenge you? Peter...sigh...and I wish I didn't.
3. Hymns or silence? The hymns and many of the words, for that matter this year did not touch my soul. I think silence might have had a better chance.
4. Post a poem or a quote that sums up Good Friday for you? I don't know that it exactly sums up Good Friday...but it's a favorite and speaks to me about something that resonates with this day.....
No, no, there is no going back.
Less and less you are
that possibility you were.
More and more you have become
those lives and deaths
that have belonged to you.
You have become a sort of grave
containing much that was
and is no more in time, beloved
then, now, and always.
And so you have become a sort of tree
standing over a grave.
Now more than ever you can be
generous toward each day
that comes, young, to disappear
forever, and yet remain
unaging in the mind.
Every day you have less reason
not to give yourself away.
~ Wendell Berry ~
5.Is there a tradition you could not be without, a tradition that makes Good Friday, Good Friday? Once I would have said the Stations of the Cross. But this year there have already been too many words in Holy Week....so......maybe it's time for new traditions.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Walking Holy Week
The week is all out of sync. Yes, Holy Week....but also not going to work as usual due to workshops and doctor's appointments. The temperatures are suddenly in the 70's. While that is wonderful, it's a little disconcerting at the same time. After a winter that seemed interminable while it was happening...suddenly it seems almost as if it never was.
Sunday was, as expected, very churchy. It all went off as planned. The nursing home was a little sparser than I had hoped. It seems that my call to the activities director didn't produce the hoped for resulting coriwd after all. I'd heard that her staff was not bringing folks to the chapel for siervice, so I thought maybe a call to say that for sure I'd be there with Palms and Passion in five voices would get something rolling. Oh well. I think the folks that were there mostly did appreciate what was there. They sang and prayed along....and my readers did a great job, as did my piano player on the new electronic piano, with its bank of buttons that looks like something from the Starship Enterprise that produce seemingly random rhythm section selections that could lead a whole marching band across a parade field if she hit the wrong one. But she maintained control of the thing and played a lovely set of Lenten-ish preludes as well as leading us through the hymns.
So here we are in Holy Week. Starting tomorrow, there will be that slow walk to the cross. We do Tenebrae on Wednesday....it isv a slow, almost ponderous chanting of Psalms while light is extinguished. One cannot come away from this without feeling moved, sobered. Then on to the Eucharist and foot washing of Maundy Thursday and Stations of Friday. Watching and waiting. I always feel in Holy Week like I am living in two worlds. Get up, go to work, life as usual by day, and by night, a move to another dimension where things slow and we focus, we watch, we slip into another level. Back and forth, a foot in each world, trying to navigate daily life while not really in it fully again until after Sunday, yet trying to be present because this is, after all the world in which I am called to live.
Sunday was, as expected, very churchy. It all went off as planned. The nursing home was a little sparser than I had hoped. It seems that my call to the activities director didn't produce the hoped for resulting coriwd after all. I'd heard that her staff was not bringing folks to the chapel for siervice, so I thought maybe a call to say that for sure I'd be there with Palms and Passion in five voices would get something rolling. Oh well. I think the folks that were there mostly did appreciate what was there. They sang and prayed along....and my readers did a great job, as did my piano player on the new electronic piano, with its bank of buttons that looks like something from the Starship Enterprise that produce seemingly random rhythm section selections that could lead a whole marching band across a parade field if she hit the wrong one. But she maintained control of the thing and played a lovely set of Lenten-ish preludes as well as leading us through the hymns.
So here we are in Holy Week. Starting tomorrow, there will be that slow walk to the cross. We do Tenebrae on Wednesday....it isv a slow, almost ponderous chanting of Psalms while light is extinguished. One cannot come away from this without feeling moved, sobered. Then on to the Eucharist and foot washing of Maundy Thursday and Stations of Friday. Watching and waiting. I always feel in Holy Week like I am living in two worlds. Get up, go to work, life as usual by day, and by night, a move to another dimension where things slow and we focus, we watch, we slip into another level. Back and forth, a foot in each world, trying to navigate daily life while not really in it fully again until after Sunday, yet trying to be present because this is, after all the world in which I am called to live.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Another Week of Lent Slides By....
Another Monday (and Tuesday!) come and gone. Another week of Lent gone, too. It's winding down (or up) quickly. This week (and next of course) are very churchy ones. I have the Soup and Sermon preaching spot today. Seems I am always in this last spot. What do they call that when you are the batter? Beats me! Anyway, I think this will be my fourth year in the wrap-up position, winding up this little ecumenical tradition in our community. I'm preaching on the Gospel for the day...the grain of wheat that dies, with a bit of a nod to Archbishop Romero. It's his feast in the Lectionary, and I think he deserves some props. Also preaching this week for Palm Sunday and doing the nursing home Sunday afternoon. I'm really rather pleased about that as it will be a chance to give them the whole Palm/Passion deal. We will do the Passion there in several voices as I have recruited some volunteers from my church to come along. And we will do all the good old hymns...Were You There, Old Rugged Cross, and all. I'm hoping we have surplus palms (we always do) to bring along so we have those for the Palms portion of the proceedings as well. I'm going to give the activity director a heads up that we are going all out so she can let her folks know to bring their friends. One of the sweet little ladies there told me one Sunday "Oh we like it when you come, Pastor...it always feels so much like real church." Yep, that would be me, the liturgy geek...real church follows me wherever I go, I guess.
And that will of course be the entree into the week. We do Holy Week at St. J's. Starting on Wednesday with a Tenebrae service and rolling right on through till Sunday. No vigil, we are too small to pull that off, though we have threatened to try. We typically do have a small noon Holy Saturday prayer service, usually attended mainly by the choir who are wrapping up the final rehearsal about that time. This year we are having to forgo that as the choir has vaporized somehow...much to the dismay of Rev. M, maven of liturgy and music. It will be congregational singing for Easter this year...Mrs. C is off to see the lovely grands, RM, the nurse, is pulling a shift at the nursing home. And R and I too will not be at St. J's for Easter. We have made the call that this year we need to gather with the K Clan at his sister's. So my Easter service will be in another Episcopal church, three hours from home with friends I have not yet met. I know the priest slightly from clergy gatherings. It will be strange not to preside at the service...a first since Ordination on a major feast....but...yes, every year is a new one...life moves forward and changes. But I will be around, participating in various ways for the other parts and pieces that do feel like Holy Week at home....the solemn Tenebrae chants, the Maundy Thursday Eucharist with its gradual movement from what starts out feeling more or less like any other service....and ends with that....empty....silent....altar. And Good Friday. We have Stations. And this year we will have our organist back who does things on the organ. Makes it shudder and moan and cry, unearthly sounds really, that make the hair stand up. So that will be the week. Immersion, really. All else kind of slips into second place for those days of Holy Week.
But for today I need to get myself focused to go preach to the Soup and Sermon crowd. Strangers for the most part. My folks are all at work or school or otherwise engaged. A midday activity is not their thing. But for some folks this is an important Lenten tradition. So it's a good thing to step up and provide this nourishment for body and soul in the middle of the workday.
And that will of course be the entree into the week. We do Holy Week at St. J's. Starting on Wednesday with a Tenebrae service and rolling right on through till Sunday. No vigil, we are too small to pull that off, though we have threatened to try. We typically do have a small noon Holy Saturday prayer service, usually attended mainly by the choir who are wrapping up the final rehearsal about that time. This year we are having to forgo that as the choir has vaporized somehow...much to the dismay of Rev. M, maven of liturgy and music. It will be congregational singing for Easter this year...Mrs. C is off to see the lovely grands, RM, the nurse, is pulling a shift at the nursing home. And R and I too will not be at St. J's for Easter. We have made the call that this year we need to gather with the K Clan at his sister's. So my Easter service will be in another Episcopal church, three hours from home with friends I have not yet met. I know the priest slightly from clergy gatherings. It will be strange not to preside at the service...a first since Ordination on a major feast....but...yes, every year is a new one...life moves forward and changes. But I will be around, participating in various ways for the other parts and pieces that do feel like Holy Week at home....the solemn Tenebrae chants, the Maundy Thursday Eucharist with its gradual movement from what starts out feeling more or less like any other service....and ends with that....empty....silent....altar. And Good Friday. We have Stations. And this year we will have our organist back who does things on the organ. Makes it shudder and moan and cry, unearthly sounds really, that make the hair stand up. So that will be the week. Immersion, really. All else kind of slips into second place for those days of Holy Week.
But for today I need to get myself focused to go preach to the Soup and Sermon crowd. Strangers for the most part. My folks are all at work or school or otherwise engaged. A midday activity is not their thing. But for some folks this is an important Lenten tradition. So it's a good thing to step up and provide this nourishment for body and soul in the middle of the workday.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Another Monday as I Wander Thru Lent
My goodness we would like to see the sun. I know that on Wednesday it will be two weeks. It may be that already, but as of then I will be sure. It is warm (well by our definition anyway) and the snow is fading amazingly quickly, but it's just so unrelentingly (yes, indeed) gray! Despite this, we are courting Spring and had a nice weekend. We will grill every chance we get these days...of late on the little charcoal-er that we bought because it takes the gas grill way too long to heat up in the winter. And I have to admit, there is something about the taste of that charcoal! Last night it was steak, with some wonderful early asparagus. Spring, indeed.
And Lent, in all it's moderate gray Lentedness poddles on as well. Yes, I know, I have euphoric recall about that one wonderful, show-stopping Lent....the one where the Spiritual disciplines and my readiness to be "Lenty" somehow all came together in the perfect holy storm and it just was....right and good, and nothing will ever be its equal. All it needed to be in the way of preparation and readiness...never known before and alas I am coming to believe, never to be again. Yes, I know....all things are their own things and in their own time. You can't go back and recreate something because you are never the exact same being in the exact same frame of mind or spirit again. And my saner rational self also has a guess that it really probably wasn't quite as wonderfully spiritually uplifting as in memory, because things just never are, are they? This one, containing very reality of of life and death and the whole point of all in before us in the life again brings me to a bit of somewhere that I think is probably very authentically Lenten...the problem is I am just not able to articulate as well as I'd like just exactly where it is it does bring me!
I teared up in church on Sunday as I consecrated. I haven't done that in a very long while, nor have I had that sense of the Communion of Saints around, beyond, and amidst me in quite some time as I did on Sunday....that sense that stops time and tends to make me lose my place in the proceedings. Bad enough in the familiar words of Rite II....it could be fatal as I falter my way through the thees and thous and hasts of the Rite I we adopt for Lenten Sundays. But there it was (they were?) none the less, and there was not a blessed thing I could do about it--nor wanted to!
St. Patrick will be celebrated in fine style by us on Wednesday night. We are having a Celtic Eucharist....singing some beautiful music and using a lovely setting of the liturgy to take us back and away and quiet us down a bit. There will be a drum too if mine comes in the air in time. Me in an alb with a drum....yeah, I can't help thinking about some of the good sisters of my childhood. "What has become of that girl?" For some I'm sure it's tantamount to no good end. But you know, I think that my lovely Irish Catholic mother will be having a great giggle over all of it.
So there we are. Monday winds down. It's off to yoga now....a spiritual thing in my day (thinking still about that Friday Five) that was far too full of things that were maybe religious and maybe simply things. But in this there will be quiet, and I will pipe down and find a space for God to settle in me for a time and we will dance a bit as we play with Spirit and breath and asana in the space created there.
And Lent, in all it's moderate gray Lentedness poddles on as well. Yes, I know, I have euphoric recall about that one wonderful, show-stopping Lent....the one where the Spiritual disciplines and my readiness to be "Lenty" somehow all came together in the perfect holy storm and it just was....right and good, and nothing will ever be its equal. All it needed to be in the way of preparation and readiness...never known before and alas I am coming to believe, never to be again. Yes, I know....all things are their own things and in their own time. You can't go back and recreate something because you are never the exact same being in the exact same frame of mind or spirit again. And my saner rational self also has a guess that it really probably wasn't quite as wonderfully spiritually uplifting as in memory, because things just never are, are they? This one, containing very reality of of life and death and the whole point of all in before us in the life again brings me to a bit of somewhere that I think is probably very authentically Lenten...the problem is I am just not able to articulate as well as I'd like just exactly where it is it does bring me!
I teared up in church on Sunday as I consecrated. I haven't done that in a very long while, nor have I had that sense of the Communion of Saints around, beyond, and amidst me in quite some time as I did on Sunday....that sense that stops time and tends to make me lose my place in the proceedings. Bad enough in the familiar words of Rite II....it could be fatal as I falter my way through the thees and thous and hasts of the Rite I we adopt for Lenten Sundays. But there it was (they were?) none the less, and there was not a blessed thing I could do about it--nor wanted to!
St. Patrick will be celebrated in fine style by us on Wednesday night. We are having a Celtic Eucharist....singing some beautiful music and using a lovely setting of the liturgy to take us back and away and quiet us down a bit. There will be a drum too if mine comes in the air in time. Me in an alb with a drum....yeah, I can't help thinking about some of the good sisters of my childhood. "What has become of that girl?" For some I'm sure it's tantamount to no good end. But you know, I think that my lovely Irish Catholic mother will be having a great giggle over all of it.
So there we are. Monday winds down. It's off to yoga now....a spiritual thing in my day (thinking still about that Friday Five) that was far too full of things that were maybe religious and maybe simply things. But in this there will be quiet, and I will pipe down and find a space for God to settle in me for a time and we will dance a bit as we play with Spirit and breath and asana in the space created there.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Passages and Connections
It's hard to believe it's been over a week already. Time has just kind of slipped away. Thursday was spent with the family planning services and such. Friday I went back to work, I think, though I sort of don't remember. Last Saturday was a very long day as I recall. R and I kept trying to think of things to do to fill time. We ran some errands, played with the dog...urging time to move, both dreading Sunday and wanting it to come, waiting and not for things to move on. Sunday was his dad's wake...the harder day in some ways of the two days of saying goodbye. So many people came to be part of this. Big families are so different for me. R is the "baby" of nine in his family, and his dad's own birth family was large as well, so there are just a lot of people in this clan of his. And I guess when you live in the same area for a big part of a ninety-six year life, you get to know a few folks as well! Sunday there was a rosary at three and a prayer service at seven. Almost every chair in the funeral home was full for both of them. And there was a steady stream of people in between. The funeral was last Monday. It was sad and lovely as only a big Catholic funeral in a very old church can be. The entire front half of the church on both sides was full of his family. The rest of the pews were pretty full, too, of friends of L’s as well as friends of all of his kids. The priest did well with the sermon. He knew L a bit, and it was obvious that he listened well as the kids talked about their dad as they planned the service. The hymns were some those that L chose…Amazing Grace, The Old Rugged Cross, Here I Am. Hard ones, good ones. We all cried as we sang, of course.
After the service we were well-fed by the ladies of the church while we gathered to talk and remember L and honor his life as we slipped gently back towards our own. Funeral hotdish, more salads made with whipped cream than you could count and lots and lots of cake to sweeten our memories.
So, we are moving back into life as usual. Back to work, back to planning this next big event of ours which now assumes a bittersweet edge. R is writing lots of funeral thank you notes as I am collecting RSVPs from wedding invitations. Again, the circle of life, beginnings and endings. I am so glad I got to know L, even for a little while. We are who we are at least in part because of who we come from, because of those who pass before us and those who are connected to us. For both of us now the generation before is gone on and we stand in the front of the line. But we’ll stand there together, he and I, remembering those we are connected to…and it will be ok.
After the service we were well-fed by the ladies of the church while we gathered to talk and remember L and honor his life as we slipped gently back towards our own. Funeral hotdish, more salads made with whipped cream than you could count and lots and lots of cake to sweeten our memories.
So, we are moving back into life as usual. Back to work, back to planning this next big event of ours which now assumes a bittersweet edge. R is writing lots of funeral thank you notes as I am collecting RSVPs from wedding invitations. Again, the circle of life, beginnings and endings. I am so glad I got to know L, even for a little while. We are who we are at least in part because of who we come from, because of those who pass before us and those who are connected to us. For both of us now the generation before is gone on and we stand in the front of the line. But we’ll stand there together, he and I, remembering those we are connected to…and it will be ok.
"Friday Five: Spiritual or Religious?"
Mompriest says: "Yesterday I attended a led conference by Diana Butler Bass. She is presenting new ideas on the state of the church and why there is hope for Christianity. One of her premises is a Newsweek/Washington Post poll from 2005 that states that 55% of the people in this country describe themselves as religious AND spiritual.Without going into detail about her understandings of religious and spiritual (you may want to attend one of her conferences, if you can) share with us five thoughts ideas or practices that you consider to be "religious." Then share with us five thoughts, ideas, or practices that you consider to be "spiritual." For example one thought about religion might be that it is "salvation" Or an idea about religion might be that it it is an "institution" and a religious practice might be "going to church." An example of spiritual thought might be a phrase from a poem, a spiritual idea might be the inspiration for a piece of art and a spiritual practice might be meditation. So, five thoughts, ideas, or practices that are religious....and then five thoughts, ideas or practices that are spiritual. OR are they the same thing to you?"
Five religious thoughts, ideas, or practices
Five religious thoughts, ideas, or practices
- God
- Sin
- Ritual
- Heaven/Hell
- Church
- God
- Compassion
- Relationship
- Love
- Grace
I just did a very quick "stream of consciousness" thing here. I am not at all sure that ten minutes from now I would have the same exact answers, though I think they would be close. Spiritual is bigger, broader, wider and deeper. Religion, to me, seems to be what we as humans try to do to contain the numinous. Although I do think it's a good sign that God made it to the top of both lists.
Thursday, March 04, 2010
The Circle of Life
R's dad has found peace and is with his Lord. He died last night. He was ready. As always, those left behind are more or less so. We will grieve and miss him, but we know, that without a doubt, he has found a more abundant and joyous life. Go with God. Rest in peace and rise in glory.
Wednesday, March 03, 2010
Monday, March 01, 2010
Best Laid Plans
Well we know about them don't we? Saturday's changed to include a visit to R's Dad. The good news was that I got to meet a couple more nieces, and it was a much nicer day for the hour drive than the last time we made it with blowing snow and finger drifts on the highway. The bad news of course is that Dad is continuing to not do so well, and that is hard to see. By the time we got back neither of us felt much like zany comedy so we decided to skip the play. It was a take and bake pizza and fall asleep in front of the Olympics night instead.
Sunday went a little more according to plan. The sermon did take Spirit wings and manage to fly. Always a grateful moment when that happens. Our discernment meeting went off well, too. Two more people will enter into formation to become part of our ministry team, one for youth work and the other to work with young adults with the idea that he may have a call to the diaconate. R and I did get to meet with the organist to pick our wedding music, so that is one more thing to check of that list. After church I finished off the invitations and they will go in the mail today. Check, check, check....off they go, those things on that list! We spent time on line last night looking for a bagpiper. It is one of my fondest wishes to have one playing us out after the ceremony...and it turns out that our little corner of the world is short on them! They apparently congregate in big cities, too. We may have a lead from a pipe and drum corps over in SD (2 hours away)...so we will see. I may have to forgo this little wish...sigh. But everything else is moving along. R's job today is to rattle the cage of the DJ...we still haven't heard from him about a time to meet. Mine is to mail the invites. Tomorrow I'm going to talk to the florist. Check, check, check. My goal is that pretty much everything is done a month ahead so I can stop worrying and enjoy the last month in peace (or so I say). We shall see!
For now, it's back to work and winter and Lent. Life where it is lived every day, plans made and kept and plans gone astray. Off to them.
Sunday went a little more according to plan. The sermon did take Spirit wings and manage to fly. Always a grateful moment when that happens. Our discernment meeting went off well, too. Two more people will enter into formation to become part of our ministry team, one for youth work and the other to work with young adults with the idea that he may have a call to the diaconate. R and I did get to meet with the organist to pick our wedding music, so that is one more thing to check of that list. After church I finished off the invitations and they will go in the mail today. Check, check, check....off they go, those things on that list! We spent time on line last night looking for a bagpiper. It is one of my fondest wishes to have one playing us out after the ceremony...and it turns out that our little corner of the world is short on them! They apparently congregate in big cities, too. We may have a lead from a pipe and drum corps over in SD (2 hours away)...so we will see. I may have to forgo this little wish...sigh. But everything else is moving along. R's job today is to rattle the cage of the DJ...we still haven't heard from him about a time to meet. Mine is to mail the invites. Tomorrow I'm going to talk to the florist. Check, check, check. My goal is that pretty much everything is done a month ahead so I can stop worrying and enjoy the last month in peace (or so I say). We shall see!
For now, it's back to work and winter and Lent. Life where it is lived every day, plans made and kept and plans gone astray. Off to them.
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