CPE is moving forward, or perhaps more accurately I should say, I am moving forward in CPE. I admitted to the group and my supervisor how anxious I was feeling about going onto the floor and actually seeing people, as well as the fact that I felt pretty bad about admitting that. I mean after all...it's not like I haven't visited people in a hospital before, or that I don't know how to do this thing. There were a lot of "shoulds" in my head about that, and it took a bit of humility to say out loud that I was feeling rather freaked. But it had a good outcome (as being honest about my feelings often does!) I got support from my peers and my supervisor offered the opportunity of shadowing him if I wished. So yesterday I did one visit with him, he did one with me and then off I went on my own. Yes, I do know how to do this (at least so far). My patients were certainly ill, but not in an acute state,. and I found that I could offer presence and support for them as they faced whatever was before them. Tomorrow I get to attend rounds for the first time and meet more of the staff. I'm looking forward to that as I think it will help me feel even more grounded in this place and a part of the care team.
I also managed to figure out the documentation on the electronic system. That too felt like a bit of a triumph!
I know there is more ahead that will challenge me and push my limits. But for right now I'm feeling much more at ease and happy to be so.