"It all begins with intention." FB...my wonderful yoga teacher/mentor
It was the first morning here in our new place and I determined that this will begin well, this new adventure. I do have the intention here to make a new start, to do all in my power to create a life I can be in love with.
I have been thinking about those bits and pieces of the life I once loved. They seem to fall in two broad categories...the ones I have some control over and...of course, the ones I don't! So, not being entirely without sense, I thought it would seem reasonable to put my energy into that second category. I used to have a lovely morning ritual of yoga and morning prayer. It was a gentle and sweet way to start the day, and I seemed to be able to face whatever came with greater mental and physical flexibility. Somewhere along the way, however this practice got lost, and though I have thought a lot about and wished a lot about getting it back, I have never really taken action to do something about really making that happen.
Today was the day that changed. Early on in the day, before too many other things could happen to derail me, I took myself to the space I have already created for my practice. All the right things are there, the mat, the props, the music, the prayer book. It it a lovely room, in its other incarnation, our guest room and my creative space. A comfy futon couch lives there, as does our electric fireplace. The walls are a deep soothing blue, the floors are wood. The windows are big and let in the wonderful morning light. I have assembled there all the things that speak to me of Spirit, the things that remind of times when I did take my practices seriously, and what went on in my life as result.
I was a little anxious when I faced the mat today. I have been attending yoga classes on and off, but they have been primarily of the "restorative" variety. While I do enjoy them, and to some extent "need" them of a Friday afternoon, I don't find that they require either the physical or the spiritual discipline that my own practice, well-done, asked of me. So I began gently with some cow and cat stretches. I remember FB telling us that even if all we did was lay on a mat for a time each day to begin a regular practice, it mattered, it was a beginning. But soon I found myself moving into the familiar rhythms of my old routine of asanas, ending with my my sun salutations...stretching and bending back and forward, down to the mat and rising again. Emotions ran high, laughter and tears all from the same deep well. I ended sitting with Morning Prayer. It was indeed, a good beginning.
The rest of the day was busy and productive. More unpacking and settling. I tamed the bathroom, got the office in at least a semblance of working order, figured out the very high tech washer and dryer enough to accomplish some laundry. Midway through the day there was a trip to the office to see a client and do some necessary paperwork, then some errands, a dogwalk and making dinner for my sweetie. The sweetie and I did a quick post-dinner trip for some things I need to take along to my clergy conference tomorrow. Then it was home to bed for him and last minute packing for me as I'll go right from work to the conference tomorrow.
I think tomorrow and, of course, the days that follow will be the test of my resolve. It was pretty painless to start this today when I did not have an early morning commitment and I could be leisurely and take my sweet time about it. Tomorrow it's up and out bright and early. But even then, I intend to make time, even if it's just a few brief minutes, to go to the mat, to open the space and possibility for whatever might happen there. Writing here will keep me honest, keep me accountable. We will see how it goes.