Off Again

As one might suspect from the absence of posts since before mid-month, the lovely consistency with which this month began has, as is sometimes the way of things, gone astray.  The courtship of my life-to-love has followed, a casualty of a nasty bronchial infection that left me limp and crouping for the better part of three weeks with what seemed like just enough energy to get through the minimum daily requirements of life.  Given a choice between time on the mat and an extra fifteen minutes of sleep, sleep won every time. Even "just lying there" as my teacher suggested had no appeal, as getting horizontal seemed to be an invitation to the little croupers in my chest to go full throttle. One day, then a week, then two, passed, and here we are, near the end of this month that began so well, back at square one. I'm discouraged by this, but not completely demoralized.  I still have hope that I can do this, and I am plotting a new strategy.

This is the last week of my job, and it is full and busy and tiring.  I think it would be folly to even think I could plan to be successful to try this again right now.  The crud is waning, but not entirely gone, so I am still grabbing all the sleep I can get and trying not to be too hard on myself about that.  But next week....now that is a different story.  I am on a little stay-cay between the old job and the new.  There is nothing scheduled, nothing more pressing than cleaning a garage.  My days are my own.  There is no excuse, no reason not to take the time I need to get a good routine established.  I have eleven days in which to solidify this, and hopefully too, to begin to remember why it is that I want to do this so badly in the first place. To remember who I am when this is part of me, and that I like this person.

I am also planning on attending my first yoga class in my new home town.  I spoke with the teacher and in one of those lovely little serendipitous things life offers now and again, it turns out that she has studied with the woman who taught my original teacher from ten plus years ago, the woman whose intensives I attended for four years in Mexico.  I have always loved the philosophy my teacher embodied, and really resonated with this form of yoga that emphasizes the spiritual as well as the physical aspects of the practice.  I have not found this emphasized in the other classes I have taken nearly as much, so I am really excited to see how this person teaches, and hope that this too is a connection to all that was so good and positive in that for me in the past.

Other parts of the plan to assemble a life to love are sputtering a little as well. Things on the congregational front are not moving at a pace that I would like. That is not to say that at some point all will not be well, but at this point things are not quite as I had hoped.   Being patient and dealing with uncertainty are not my strong suits, but it is what it is right now, and I'm trying to accept and wait with some level of grace....not always with complete success.

For the next few weeks though, I am focusing on leaving this job, being done in good stead, then taking my week to rest, recoup and get my plan in gear.  June 11 I start the new job, and there will be much learning there with new people and new systems.  We are hoping to have a little fun this summer, too.  Maybe a little travel, a few roadtrips and bike rides.  We need some downtime together as well!

So that is the plan and the intention as we finish May and move toward June.

Friday Five: Extreme Random

revkjarla says: "Happy Friday to all of you. Today's Friday Five has no theme, other than randomness. That's o.k., right? So, just to get to know each other a little bit (even more) here is the meme":
1. What is the first thing that comes to your mind (right now) that you want to share about yourself.  Well, since I have to keep stopping whatever it is I'm doing to cough, blow and otherwise do those wonderful cold-related things, I will share that a) I have a crummy cold and b) I want very much to not have it!

2. What is your favorite piece of jewelry or accessory? Why? This is the chain I wear every day.  It is sort of a talisman.  Each thing on it has special meaning or reminds me of something...the cross in the center is the oldest piece and was a gift to myself when I started formation for priesthood. The little circle charm came next.  It was a Christmas gift from a friend, and has a shooting star on it and says, "Discover, Dream. Explore." The bird is from a shop in Mexico from BE 4 and is to remind me that "even the birds...." The medal is Joan of Arc, purchased this year in NOLA after BE 5. Joan is my patron saint (the given name I never use) and is for courage.  The blue stone charm came from BE 5 as well, and reminds me of the ocean.

3. If you could have a starring role in a T.V. show/movie/series, which one would it be, and what wouldyour character be like? It would be one of those "cozy" mysteries where the main character has a day job...Therapist? Priest? Both? In addition she just keeps happening upon fascinating situations requiring her and,of course, her trusty partner, (my smart, handsome husband, natch!) to bring their wonderful intuitive and other gifts to solve them.

4. What is one thing you will eat this weekend? Oatmeal with raisins.  It's the Sunday morning tradition at our house for R to get up and make this for breakfast.  We will also have other great stuff, too.  He cooks!

5. How do you waste time? (If you do, that is...) The computer! It even tells the world....randomly..."Kate is playing this that or the other thing."  I find myself thinking about the things I could/should be doing, exercising, cleaning, writing something great and meaningful.  Then I pop some more bubbles.

A Quiet Saturday

It's quiet here today, at the end of our first full week in the new house.  I'm pretty amazed by how settled we are.  Oh, there are things to be done of course.  There is nothing on the walls yet, and a few boxes are still to be dealt with.  But it's not the important stuff.  That has all been pretty much unpacked and put away for most of the week.  There really is something to be said for a slow steady move over several weeks.  It gave us time to bring things in and put them away, so that the last day really was just the remaining essentials (and the things we needed the strong young relatives' help with the heavy lifting).

I have been off to clergy conference and back.  It seems that our CC tends to fall around big events in my life,  moving, weddings, things like that.  I am happy to say that even with the going and coming I have sustained my morning yoga practice for six days now!  I am giving myself "permission" to take Sundays off.  If I get there it's a bonus, but we tend to spend the morning together having a nice breakfast, getting ready for church, and I think that too, is an important part of this "life I love" rebuild.

Our original plan for today was to take in some of the Cinco de Mayo festivities in the Big City upriver.  But the combination of less than ideal weather and R being down with a nasty Spring cold has derailed that.  Right now I am listening to the comforting sounds of both my husband and dog napping peacefully. The revised plan includes a little errand running and our own Mexican dinner right here at home.  I have no church responsibilities on my calendar for a good long while now.  There is some pulpit supply off in the future, and plans are in the making for more involvement at my church here, though the when and how are still to be determined.  I need to be in wait and trust mode.  Not my best thing...but it too is part of the practice I guess.

So being slow today, taking it easy, no expectations....gee, that sounds like a weekend!

Friday Five Birthday Edition

Kathrynzj says: "There's a birthday for an adult member of my family today. I will admit, I'm not very good at celebrating birthdays. Sadly, the adults in my life have suffered from this affliction. I do manage to rally for my son (now age 7). I could bore you with my own personal history of birthday laments which may have led to this attitude... but I won't (you're welcome). Instead I'd love to hear your birthday memories."
1) What is the first birthday you remember? I think I remember my seventh.  There was a party of little girls from school and the neighborhood. Someone had a tantrum, someone threw up, someone's mommy had to come get her because she didn't have her party manners on. We played Pin the Tail on the Donkey.

2) Do you recall a favorite gift? While it was not technically a birthday gift, it did replace one, so I think it counts. The bike from R has to be one of the best gifts ever.  You can read the story here: http://prairielight.blogspot.com/2009/08/bike-story.html

3) Has anyone ever tried to surprise you for your birthday? Did it work? Was it fun? Oh yes...once.  Fun?  Mmmm, don't know if that is the word I'd pick.  Memorable maybe. My roommate did manage to pull off the getting the people there without my knowing pretty well. There is a picture of me as they all jump out and I look properly surprised. Then she also decided to further surprise me with those candles that won't blow out.  That was where things really got surprising! The candles did what they were supposed to do, relit and relit...right down into the sugar frosting, which started to burn, which set off the smoke detector.  The only way to stop the firs was to pour water on the cake and the only way to silence the smoke detector in our old house was to hit the circuit breaker.  So while one person was running for water to drown the cake, another was hitting the lights. We went from bright, burning, blaring chaos to sudden silence in complete darkness. Once the lights came back on we surveyed the damage.  The once lovely cake now said "Ha  B...........Y" amidst globs of burnt flowers. It was pretty much a loss.  As one of my friends said, "well, it was pretty surprising."

4) Do you have a favorite birthday dessert? It used to be a toss-up between good cheesecake (baked please, very dense, NOT the jello version, and NO toppings) and Dairy Queen cake, but since the arrival of the Sweet Husband who makes the most amazing cakes, I think it would be his lemon layer cake.

5) Describe what would be your 'perfect birthday'  Right now? A quiet day, just the two of us. Sleeping in, then  maybe a little day trip somewhere. Just meandering, talking, laughing, good food at some point along the way. That would do it.

Home Again

This will be another short one, simply because it has been a very long day. It started in a retreat center (with some time on a yoga mat, may I say?) moved through a morning with my Bishop and clergy peeps as we prayed, reflected and talked together about how we can care for God's people, each other, and, not least of all, ourselves in our work of ministry. Then it was into the car and off to the office for three hours of group and a couple clients.  By then it was WAY past time to get myself home to the Sweet Husband. Three days apart is still much too long. I found him grilling chicken for our dinner. We caught up on our various days and I sent him off to bed. His days start in the wee dark hours and end while it is still light. On this day, mine too, will end before dark, I think. I am not at all sorry that tomorrow is Friday, and it too starts bright and early. As always, it was good to go and spend time immersed in my clergy world, and as always, it is so good to be home.

Day Three and Still Going

This will be brief as I am typing on a tablet and it is not my favorite thing. I just want to be on record here as saying that it was mat day three...yes even at clergy conference.

Being Accountable

Day 2-Mission Accomplished!  As predicted, it was a little harder to manage this morning. I had to be in the office by 8, my commute has changed from about 10 minutes to about 40, and I am going directly from work today to clergy conference so I had to make sure I had all my "stuff" to haul along on that trip.  But I did find my way to mat and prayerbook, and while perhaps I was a bit hurried and distracted, I was there and there counts.