It's 4:50 and the last client of the day just walked out the door. I should be doing notes. I can't seem to get myself to log on to the documentation program. I have been late to two events today. Both times it has required phone calls from the other persons involved inquiring if I planned I to grace them with my presence to remind me the event existed. One is an every Wednesday staff meeting. Yep. Same time every week. I forgot to go. Well, actually I forgot what day it was. The other was lunch with a friend. It was in my planner....I just forgot to look. I have been distracted....
There is a heaviness in the local world today. A seventeen year-old junior at the high school took his life yesterday. It's like back at the time of the bus crash...we are small enough that though I have no direct personal connection, there are all the webs of linkage. A couple of coworkers go to his church, a friend works with his aunt, his pastor is a colleague and ministry friend. His manager from his part time job talked about how the boy seemed to be kind of alone in the world and wondered if having more of a sense of community would have made a difference. We are all wondering...what happened, and what might have made a difference?
Tonight I will plan a funeral for a fifty year old man I do not know. A man his sister called a "gentle giant" who loved fishing and photography and once went to Alaska. A man who lived a simple life and found love with a "lady friend" only a few years ago. Once again I will fall back on the beautiful language of prayer and scripture, finding readings that seem to fit and hymns that I hope speak to them as they do to me. I will try to craft a small sermon that says something of the love of God for this fine-sounding man I never met. I will make some little service booklets to avoid the prayerbook shuffle.
It's supposed to rain tonight. I hope so. That would seem right somehow. It just would.