Monday morning....sitting in a coffee shop in the big city. I am killing a little time this morning. That's so far from the norm...that there is time that's not scheduled, not planned for. But here it is. Clergy conference starts later this afternoon, my friend has gone off to work, and I have nothing I have to do today. I have some want tos....checking back in on a wedding dress we looked at this weekend to see how I feel about it on a second glance, running a couple errands to stores we don't have in rural land....but mostly the day is mine to fritter away.
Dresses. Oh. My. The whole world of ivory satin lace and tulle and such. Who knew it was so complicated? I thought I was starting way early on this. Apparently not, as the nice "dress wrangler" told me some dresses take five months to come in once ordered! And then there are alterations and all manner of things. I have now tried on maybe ten dresses in varying styles...and mostly I am confused. There was of course that one dress. The one I put on that made me cry....the one that made me feel like Cinderella, the one that I knew was "my dress" until I saw the price tag. That was the first shopping day....a hard lesson learned...don't even try them on until you know what they cost! There is one other....the one I am giving the second look today that looks like the dress my mother was married in back in 1921. It defies the rules my Soul Sisters have suggested....emphasize their take on my best features....curves and collarbones....this dress is simple and straight and pretty much covers everything....but it's also very pretty and frugal of price....but what if I get this one and then find that one! Oh dear. I feel so shallow! People are getting sick with swine flu and I am fretting about a dress.
But it's today's obsession. I know I will move on. I will go back to the real world. It is partly escape. Our diocesan meeting on Saturday was frustrating. We were not our best selves. Why is it sometimes when the church gathers we have such a hard time moving past fear? As someone in my small group pointed out it is much easier to talk about bricks and mortar than harder bigger truths, even when those are not bad things but maybe just personal or uncomfortable ones. We are trying to reform and transform and change culture....this is squirmy stuff...so it's back to the safeties....but it makes me tired and it makes me sad....and so I think I'll just go look for dresses instead...just for today. Sometimes we need a little fluff, don't we?
The 5 o'clock postscript....I bought a dress! Rest assured there will be more details to come. For now, the attention turns to clergy conference.