Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Running the Race

On Sunday I really thought I was holding up quite well. On Wednesday I am not so sure. I am running out of steam before the end is in sight. I am weepy, cranky and whiny. I am wondering why I am doing all this. Wondering too, where they all went, these other people who all thought this homecoming parade was such a good idea. Wondering if anyone is going to care that St. J's is there, get curious about the MDG's, support our project. Wondering why I am overfunctioning again.

And then there is school. Yesterday ten minutes before class started I realized with horror that I had no lecture notes. I had left them at my office. Now the office is only a five minute drive, but the car was parked another five minute walk across campus. I went. There was no choice, really. So it was another rocky start. I was less than stellar. The class before that one, I forgot to print the student handouts until the last minute. And before that there was the library debacle. I am not usually like this! I'm really organized and on top of things. It's the stress, the overload. Or maybe it is those incessant reminders from God! And I want to say, OK, God, I GET it, I can't do this, I won't do this, message received, loud and clear, so stop already! I surrender. Again.

I need a big nap.

10 comments:

Mrs. M said...

No advice, just hugs.

Tandaina said...

You know I think back to college and the professor I loved most, who I still think about was probably my most "scattered." She didn't always have notes, she didn't always follow the plan. But when she got to class she spent the whole time there fully with us and she gave us everything she had to give. Loved her.

You sound tired and overwhelmed but don't be too hard on yourself, I'm sure you are judging your performance way harder than your students are.

((Kate))

(How many days until yurt time?) ;)

"PS" said...

I am on the same wave length as tandiana. As I was reading along, I kept thinking...the Yurt is coming...time for exquisite rest and renewal.

RevDrKate said...

Thanks! You are all the best. Yurt is nine days and counting!

Kate said...

How about a big hug? They're quicker than big naps, easier to fit into your schedule.

*big hugs*

more cows than people said...

(((((kate)))))

Jan said...

Be gentle with yourself. All will be well, all will be well.

Katherine E. said...

Oh, I hate that overwhelmed feeling. I can really resonate with what you're going through. Like you, I get weepy and whiny. One of the worst things I do is stop at green lights and run the red ones. When I do that, I KNOW I'm in trouble! May you stay safe! Hope you were able to take a great nap, Kate.

Kathryn said...

Last week was my week for overwhelmed (in fact, I'll email you the full story if you like...now it's over, it's quite funny and does show lots and LOTS of God working in the mess)...so you have my hugest and most sympathetic of sympathies.
Cut as many corners as you can in order to function, and try to be kind to yourself.
Hugs and prayers from here xxx

RevDrKate said...

Again, you are all wonderful!!!!!

Kathryn, I would love to hear how God is about in your mess. That is the good news for me...that in all this I CAN still see God at work. My SD just gave the same advice you did, do it easy, and find the joy!