Life, it seems, is an endless adventure. Now I suppose that's not a bad way to look at things, but I have to admit, there are times when I could do do with fewer surprises. At least the kind that seem to be sprung on me from my very own psyche! I don't know if it's birthday backlash or simply that we have moved into another month, and so far each of them seems to have their own mood theme, but I am finding myself riding the emotional waves again. Out of the blue this morning I am in tears. In that dark place that asks all those "why" and "what for" questions. I have no idea what prompted this. Perhaps it is the silly romance novel I am listening to in the car, or the Property Virgins on HGTV, newlyweds buying their first home, all starry-eyed and hopeful. Or maybe it's the vagaries of brain chemistry. Hormonal gear-shifting?
And last night in Wal-mart I caught myself blatantly flirting with the person in the checkout line in front of me. Seriously. I don't flirt. I had no idea if I even remembered how. But there I was, having purposefully pithy conversation with an attractive (oh sooooo attractive) stranger. My heart was racing and my face was hot....and...ok...so, I knew. This less than three days later after assuring someone in all truth and honesty that I have no interest in pursuing anything or anyone, that I realize the wisdom of just settling in with me for a good long time. Ha. So this all feels very out of control. And we all know just how much I like that!
Oh, dear. I guess I'd better buckle up. June's looking interesting.