Saturday, January 19, 2008

Procrastination.....

That's sung to the tune of Carol King's Anticipation of course. It's 10:30 a.m on Saturday morning. I've been pretty productive. Slept in for starters...till 8, late for me! And that was a good thing...a little deposit on the sleep debt that has built up over the last weeks. I helped Dear One capture the outdoor cat who desperately needs to go to the vet to find out what's up with the creeping skin condition that has been plaguing her. I got my hair cut. I took myself out to breakfast....well it was Hardee's but it was breakfast! And now I am here before the blank screen with a sermon to write and no idea of what I want to say. So instead, I'll blog!

I went out to dinner with L last night. What a lovely simple thing. He has wonderful manners for a young man who has led the life he has. And clearly he has not been jaded by overexposure to the stuff of life. Going to Perkins was a true treat for him. The jellies in their little cups, the sheer variety of the ten-page menu, the choices of soda, all these things were delight and wonder. He says he hasn't been eating much, "kind of tense," or sleeping well either. Although he surely likes being free, feels ok and at peace about his plea and about being at CH, the program he's in. The "usual stuff" there has come up. CH takes all kinds of mental health clients. One of his roommates is decompensating right now....L is kind of leery of him, as are the other folks. One of the young women has been flirtatious, which has made him uncomfortable (which is actually a good sign). I offered him reassurance and the reminder to go to staff with his needs and concerns. I assured him this is not "ratting out" but caring for and protecting himself and them. This will be the hardest thing for him. The change from the jail-think. The CH staff are not guards I tell him, they are on your side. Let them help you.

One of the staff told me about his trip to the store to buy his basic needs. She shopped with him for things like a toothbrush and shampoo and socks. She said it took a very long time as he deliberated over each item and choose carefully. She said it was clear to her that the chance to choose something for his own was a new thing for him. Some of my church folks are taking him out to his mom's today to pick up some clothes and have a short visit with his family. The circle widens. Tomorrow he will join us for worship. And yet again a bigger circle.

My worlds are kind of colliding in some rather strange and interesting ways with L. In the same place that twelve other people call me Dr. Kate, L is calling me Rev. Kate. I want to try to maintain that with him, and am trying to be deliberate about it. I feel protective of him, and yes a little maternal. And yet I need to maintain professional boundaries too. My job there is to be an objective consultant to staff, clients and program across the board. I pray a lot! And keep remembering and asking those who nudge me about these things to remind me that he is in God's care ultimately not mine. But I do enjoy witnessing the joy in the freedom of these moments, complications not withstanding. I wouldn't miss this for the world!

So I guess I'd better write a sermon. Or see if I can find something else to procrastinate on.

3 comments:

Katherine E. said...

Are you preaching on the calling of the disciples? I see some strong similarities in that text and your relationship with L. You are inviting him, in relationship with you and a wider community, to find his true identity.

Wow.

RevDrKate said...

I do see that....he will be in the congregation tomorrow though so there is that....can't seem to get my head around the delicacy and fine points of that in my current tired brain state....any thoughts?

mompriest said...

it is delicate...It is also beautiful that everyone will get to be in community - not just he with you (congregation) and they with he - but all together as something complete. I think this reading is a call to wholeness and sometimes we find that in relationship. (well like really often we find it there)....relationship broadly speaking - with God, with Jesus, with self, with others....community. it's a mutual invitation, we are all called.

well, I am sure you will find a sensitive way to speak to this reading and your community...