Wednesday, December 19, 2007

The Final Week

It really was not my intention to gush and run. Life just kind of busied up, and suddenly it's Wednesday morning. It's almost 1 a.m. and I'm waiting for the Amish Friendship bread to come out of the oven. Someone brought these bags of goo to work ten days ago with instructions and I couldn't resist taking one home. It seemed like such a long time until I had to actually do anything other than "mush the bag." But it kind of sneaked up on me when I was busy doing other things and suddenly...today was the day! So at eleven o'clock, there I was at the grocery store, getting the right stuff to put the bread together and make more bags of goo to pass on. It smells good, I'll say that for it. It comes out in a few minutes, so we will see...in fact there goes the timer now....Well, it's out and sampled Aside from the fact that I burnt the bottom a bit, it's not bad. Kind of tastes like a muffin. I'm ok with it, I'd do it again, and bake it less.

This is the metaphor for life this week...it just keeps sneaking up on me. Things are getting done. They are maybe a little less than perfect and I am just peachy with that. This is of course nothing short of a miracle. In the past anything short of absolutely perfect in every detail and I was getting all up in everybody's everything let me tell you! Overfunctioning and overcontrolling and wound up like a spring ready to go at any moment. But I have attempted to repent of that....it appears that perhaps it's working, I have made the turn, it seems to be sticking for the most part. Oh, there is the default....there is always the default. Under duress I know where I go! Imperiousness and perfectionism sing their siren song...regression at it's finest! But I am finding that this is so much easier. And so much more fun! A little lost sleep, a little burnt bread is really a worthwhile trade off for the joy! And so it goes in this wonderful imperfect, human life in the final week before Christmas....

3 comments:

mompriest said...

ahh, setting aside the urge to over do everything...good discipline. Enjoy these days leading up to Christmas!

Barbara B. said...

yes, it's really hard to let go of perfectionism... but more relaxing when one can do it!

"PS" (a.k.a. purple) said...

great reflection and insight.