L has been arrested. These last two weeks have been like watching an accident in slow motion. Like watching someone falling in a dream. Running to catch them with legs of lead. Knowing what the final moment would be but being unable to stop it. Ever since his baby's mom pulled D away he has been in a kind of reckless self-destruct mode and nothing mattered. He called me yesterday afternoon. I know now it was a kind of goodbye. I think he knew what was coming. He's very smart in the way of these things and I think he knew he had pushed it just too far. His PO tried not to violate him, I really believe that. Technically, this could have happened three weeks ago. But he wanted to try to keep him out, let him get a job, do some therapy, see if there was some way something else could be pulled together for L in the system for treatment. The problem is, L gave up on himself. He told me yesterday it was all just too hard, that he just did not know how to live on the outside.
I'm not sure what's next for him. I know he has time left to serve. If what I know is true, it's something like 110 days from the last sentence. I don't know if that's it....or now if there is more. It all depends on how much if he will be here or elsewhere. Visiting hours start at one today. I will be there.