It's 3:30 on the first Monday afternoon of Advent and my last client of the day has left the office. Three cancellations today and a group that is not meeting has left me caught up on paperwork and with time to spare. This never happens, so how blessed I feel that it coincides with the RevGals virtual retreat.
"Where your fear is most deeply seated, there God is already waiting." As I read Kathryn's lovely reflection I could not help but think back to earlier this fall when the whole "watching for God" business began. It all started because I was so much in fear and needed so badly that reassurance that God really is holding my life. And it has been in and out these last two months....rough places being smoothed and, I have to admit, days when my brain insisted on making mountains out of every hill, mole or other. God continues to wait in the yet/not-yet and now it is Advent and it is my turn to become the active waiting one....waiting on the Incarnating One, the always faithful one. And to wait in a way that honors and witnesses, that gives birth to in this world again and again the one who continues to arrive even as we wait....but only if I have the courage, as Mary did to say yes, let it be with me according to your will. Let me have enough faith that even if it makes no sense whatsoever in the human course of events, since it is of God....I will have it be of me as well.