In all the stuff of my own life I've been trying to stay in close touch with L. I do see him in passing as I'm over at CH a few times a week, but often we just have time for a quick "Hi, how are you?" as he is getting home from work just as I am leaving. I've taken him for coffee a few times, but it's been hard to connect with him. He's either very very quiet or he goes to either a kind of goofy silliness or the hard facade of his "gangsta" persona that just breaks my heart. Technically his time at CH is up as they have a ninety day stay there. The director has petitioned for an extension for him, but they are not often granted. He has to go back to court on Monday. It's a stupid thing (IMHO). The court in the county to the North, where he owed a fine from the past got their little selves in a knot because he suddenly stopped sending his (previously always timely and regular) payments to them. The reason of course was that he had been arrested and was in jail. DUH! So now they want to violate him for that. But he has already paid them off (in full!) since he was released so we think it will be a done deal. However, he is still on probation in that county as well and now they want to tighten that up as well. So he will have two PO's in TWO counties. Goody. The one he has here is not a very nice person. I don't say that randomly, nor am I alone in this opinion. L's CH counselor was appalled yesterday when she observed how he treated L. She used the word "goaded" him. The PO dropped by, just for a visit. L was already having a stressful day. He's been working on a very long court ordered assessment that involves doing some paper and pencil testing and filling out questionnaires that ask very personal questions. It's long and hard and intrusive. Because of L's learning disabilities he needs a staff person to do it with him. So he can't even answer this very personal and private stuff personally and privately. I'm guessing he was already feeling a little raw when PO shows up to deliver a bunch of news that L really didn't need to hear right then and that was delivered in a way that was just guaranteed to upset him. The whole kerfuffle is over where L is going to live. He can't get an apartment due to his legals so he says, ok I'll go live with my mom. The PO says no you won't and if you try I'll violate you so there! L got a little defensive (I got more than a little defensive for him and was biting my tongue HARD!) and said what nineteen year olds say, "whatever." This upset PO and he started making even more noises about revoking his probation. This of course just made things ever so much worse for poor L. At that point, the staff member and I intervened and said perhaps the PO and staff should talk and I should meet with L and he and the PO could sort things out later.
He's talking going to the Big City again. We know what that means and it's not good! He says he has no future, that he "knows" that no matter what he does he will just be locked up again. I am struggling mightily to hold hope for him.....but the system is so stacked against him. It went wrong for him from so early on and it seems it is not getting better. He is so insistent that he did not do this thing he is paying this huge price for, and it seems that it really doesn't matter because he did what he was told to do by the public defender, took the advice given to plead because he simply wanted to get out of jail and he was told that "they" were likely to bring more things up against him from his past that would turn a judge or jury against him if he went to court. And all his hopes for getting out....seeing his baby, getting a place to live, it's all turning out to be fraught with obstacles put in place by that same system.
L needs a miracle. It really has come down to this.