Sunday, April 13, 2008

Sunday Heartache

I think that would be a good title for that song if I ever finish it. I went away for three and a half days. I went to a church meeting on Thursday and a work conference on Friday and on Saturday I did some serious retail therapy in the Big City (IKEA, DSW Shoes, Trader Joes's and my two favorite thrift stores). I hung out with a really good friend, drank a little too much wine, slept in two mornings in a row, and tried to do that "self-care" thing. Then it was Sunday and I had to get in the car and make the three hour trek back to what I knew would be waiting here. A house full of empty, places where things used to be, a sense of sad vacancy. Hmmm...is here a second verse in there somewhere?

I have done my usual trick and scheduled myself into a corner. I did get a role in My Antonia. As did everyone else who tried out! The rehearsal schedule is tight, just about every night as we have only two weeks till performance. I'm also supposed to host the bookclub Tuesday night....oops. Next weekend we have a diocesan meeting here on Saturday...I am the hostess, and it's my weekend to preside and preach. Oops again. I looked at the Lectionary....hmmm.

I't's really hard to believe that two weeks ago today I was sitting on a big boat basking in warm sunshine. It seems like a lifetime. So much has happened in so many of our lives. I do not know what I would do without the love, prayers and support of this community. Because of the complications of my fishbowl life, it is really hard to reach out for support here beyond a very small circle. C and my Soul Sisters are so fabulous and are helping hold me together. So many things must just be handled with such great care in my little world, some days I feel like I am walking on broken glass and eggshells strewn across thin ice!

One thing I am grateful for is that this is happening later in life rather than earlier. Because by this time I know that nothing in life lasts forever. This particularly acute pain will pass,
I can survive it if I simply stay with myself and wait and be and breathe and pray. There is really nothing I have to do, or can.

16 comments:

cheesehead said...

(((RDK)))

Songbird said...

One thing does last forever, RDK, and that is God's love for you. May you be held in that love as you walk through the coming weeks.

God_Guurrlll said...

(((RDK)))

I am sorry you are dealing with such heartache. Know that I am praying for you and holding you in the light.

Peace and Love

Rev. Sweet said...

Hugs to you RDK. Take care, please. You know, you can do the self care thing once home as well.... just a thought. :-)

Ruby said...

I'm so glad to know that you are taking care of yourself.

Mary Beth said...

Grief is great and surprising in many ways...things that we don't think of come up to bite us when least expected.

Thank you for the reminder to breathe and pray.

Praying for YOU.

Katherine E. said...

You have my prayers, Kate. And a heart hug coming to you through cyberspace!

DogBlogger said...

(((RDK)))

mompriest said...

kate...if, after all the busyness settles down you find that you'd like some time away, sitting around a pool with some cold iced tea and someone to sit quietly with, or laugh, or what ever...let me know. (you know how to reach me)...I have a room for company

In the meantime, my prayers...

Kathryn said...

Oh love - I am sorry. The only way through this, I guess, is through it (if you see what I mean) but you know we are all here praying and cheering you on. So glad that your plans for self care materialised, and that C and the Soul Sisters are around...Try to pause and remember you are loved, OK?

Diane said...

((((RDK))))
thank you for your comment on my blog.

St. Casserole said...

(((RDK))))!

will smama said...

What songbird said... oh yeah and:

(((RDK)))

Gannet Girl said...

Yes, sometimes you just have to be.
{{{{}}}}}}}}}

Rev SS said...

more (((RDK)))

Crimson Rambler said...

(((RDK)))