Paying Attention in November-Before and After

I look at him and I wonder if he ever thnks about his before Before life got so complicated, before he had all those other people to answer to, before the labels, before things started to go down this path instead of that one. Because I think about my before. Before complications, before questions, before I decided that one choice had to be made, never imagining what the cost would be. I wonder sometimes, had I been given the gift of foresight would I have made the same choice, felt the same need to do the same things? I'd like to think so, because no matter what the outcome, it was still the right thing in that moment. It was, by my best discernment what I was called to do in that situation. And when it comes down to it, what else can we do but what we beleive we are called to?

Our lives are linked,his and mine, in some way that I certainly did not plan, did not choose. It was a simple Bible study. He was there and I was there and God connected our lives. It was very clear to me that I was to go back and see him. I did not want to particularly. I don't like jails. But it was very clear that this was simply an....expectation. So I went. And went again. And over time a bond formed between this unlikely pair....the streetwise beyond his years young man and the definitely no-so pastor....and always, always....God was there. Through jail and the house and the apartment and jail and now out again it is always God who connects us to ourselves and each other, who holds us both in the dark places and the joyful times. It really is very simple. Really.