"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now." Matthew 6:34a The Message
Given that the calendar is an arbitrary thing, and life has its own seasons that sometimes do or do not correspond, perhaps the simple change of a month need not determine a change of practice after all. The days called November may or may not bring news that will tell me anything about my future, as least as others have the power to determine it. They may have as much waiting and unknowing in them as did the days called October. It's likely that I will have as much need as ever to ask the question, "where is God in this, anyway?" So it may be a good thing to continue to develop this habit, this practice of just generally being on the alert, to be looking for God, not just in this hard thing, but in all things. Or maybe especially in all things, in other things.
It has been so easy to get consumed by this life predicament of mine. To see it as the only thing that matters, the only thing that is. Even as I write that, I feel more than a little chagrined with myself. While the world is going to h**l in a handbasket about the economy, a friend is suffering with pain over loss far greater than my own could ever be, I am having my own personal little meltdown. But there it is, it's simple truth, it's just hard to get past it sometimes, this incredible preoccupation that envelopes me. But I really want to try. I want to get bigger. I want to try to stretch myself to find God in more ways here. To try to get back to the original intention of this practice a bit and see if I can see how many ways God is doing things in my life and the world around me. I want to see if I can find some joy again. I want to take a leap of faith this month somehow and act as if I do believe what my faith heart says....that God is holding my life, that God's dreams for me are grounded in love, and that whatever comes....it will be some kind of well that I can, with God's help, live into.