For the first time in a very long time I slept well and did not wake up in a panic in the middle of the night. When I did finally come to this morning, it was not in my typical state of anxiety and sadness. I might have even been smiling a little as I woke and said a prayer of thanks for just an easy, delightful night of fun conversation, laughter and feeling just....well...good!
It was particularly needed yesterday as there had been some things in the day that had brought me face to face with the whole lurking life event yet again in a way that was particularly painful. I'm afraid if it had been a night alone it would have been really tough. But as it was, I found that over six hours went by in which, other than filling R in a little bit about what's been going on, I didn't think about it all! I have to think of course that all of this is no accident. God is all over it. I had been thinking about that little "nudge" to R for a long time, but I was reluctant for all sorts of what turn out to be silly reasons. So I finally did a really sensible thing and prayed about it and kept getting a sense that it really was the right thing to do....and finally did. I also prayed to be a little more courageous and transparent and authentic when I was with him...and of course God came through on that front, too. We were both able to say some things about our histories and our fears, our boundaries and expectations that created a good basis for a beginning friendship.
Today has been a good day too. A little work, a little play, some time conversing with a friend, nothing too pressing. Time to savor some good memories. It was kind of an early Sabbath. Tomorrow is forecast to be warmer, so after church the plan is to clean the gutters. Not my favorite pastime, but one that needs to be done--and time is seriously running out, I'm afraid. But for the rest of the night, it's dinner and knitting and a little Bonhoeffer, as we start Discipleship this week in Soul Sisters and I have to get my first chapter read. Dinner is the rest of last night's Mexican, so that will be easy. So that's next on the agenda. For tonight in this moment, all really is well. Thanks be to God.