"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now." Matthew 6:34a The Message
Once again prayer and liturgy heals me, soothes me, feeds me. We had our opening Eucharist for our Diocesan Convention tonight. I found myself holding on to the the words of the preacher like they were my lifeline. He said the work of Jesus is awkward and dangerous but that it has this reward of making God visible, showing people God. Awkward and dangerous...shoes will fall if you do the gospel perhaps? But maybe there will be a wing to hide under when it happens. For a time there was light and there was comfort, and if I had not been in a whole civic center ballroom full of Episcopalians I think I would have just started sobbing out loud.
I bought a book tonight that talks about the work of a priest. One of things it says is that part of my job is to be a "friendly irritant," challenging the structures of the way things are. Uh-oh. That sort of thing gets you pelted with shoes. I am living proof. But maybe there is something bigger here after all. Light again? Just a shard. And that wing.
It's been a very hard week. All that has happened has set off reverberations deep in my soul. Land mines really, that have taken all my energy to contain. I had no idea it would be this way. There is a lot of sorting out still to come on many fronts. But there is a bigger picture here and God is in it.