"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now." Matthew 6:34a The Message
Well today's the day. The one I both have and have not been waiting for. I think I am pretty calm. But then as I was getting ready for work this morning I noticed I was pretty pale. And my right eye was twitching again. And since the body doesn't lie...perhaps I am not as calm as I think. But I did sleep last night, and have been this last week. Better really than in the few weeks since this "thing" has had a date attached to it. It has been mentioned and I myself, have felt a little like Damocles. But as I mentioned to someone yesterday...I have something poor Damocles did not....I have that that wing to tuck beneath. And I have something else...I have the most wonderful support anyone could ever ask when going through Hard Times, both here and in my face-to-face life. The Pray as You Go meditation this morning asked if there was someone who was our cornerstone, and I thought, "oh, heavens, I have a whole foundation!" and then when the meditation continued the speaker used that very thought....talking about building a foundation of community and growing into a holy temple together. It's this kind of thing that gives me peace and hope today amidst the little knot of something that does sit in my stomach. These lovely little things I keep falling into that give me just the reminders I need when I need them of how much love and care is there for me. Of just how much attention is being paid to this little chick.
It will pass. Life will go on. After it's over I will process it in safety with a trusted friend. Then I'll go to Bible study with my fabulous Soul Sisters who will love me no matter what. Then I'll bake cookies for a potluck tomorrow. All will be well.