"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now." Matthew 6:34a The Message
This is post # 401. Hard to believe I have that much to say in a little over a year and a half. But then it's been kind of an eventful year and a half I guess. Starting a blog, ending a relationship, going on my first cruise, having a whole closet full of shoes fall on me, plus just all the regular every day stuff in the life of a small town girl trying to find her way into authenticity and a more consistent faith walk.
There was alas, no Sabbath in this Sunday. My fellow traveler and I got up way too early this morning and began our trek back across the state from convention. This was partly due to the fact that we had checked out the forecast last night, and indeed we had an "interesting" drive, as we say around here. A little rain, a little snow, and a LOT of wind. I was very glad I wasn't driving anything lighter or taller, and that we weren't going much further. It was tiring just keeping the car between the lines!
Once safely home, it was off to fetch Maggie from her sitter, then in to the office to do class prep. Yes, I am at it again! But only for one day. A friend asked me way back in the Fall to guest lecture on moral development and ethics for her human development class. It seemed so far away at the time, I said yes without a second thought. But all of a sudden, I was facing class on Tuesday, and I wasn't ready. So the rest of the day, I was back in teacher mode, and I am feeling pretty much ready to face the students complete with lecture, handouts and group exercise.
I'm trying really consciously to "back-burner" the falling shoe business as much as I can. To stay in the moment as much as possible. I was reminded in so many ways this weekend that my life here is not random, that I am called to a vocational life of, as our preacher said yesterday, trying to show the world Jesus. If by doing something that was intended to be a part of that, an avalanche was created, well.....maybe a little faith is justified. I kind of feel like I am puzzling on all of this, trying on the one had to figure out God's part in it in a sort of very interested kind of way, while at the same time trying to deal with the emotional impact and the potential "real world" impact by staying away and being disengaged from that as much as possible. It feels....very stretchy. More in some moments than I can manage. But then again in others, ok.
There are things related to this I must tend to, so I cannot ignore it all together. But on the other hand, once those things are done, it is out of my control until whatever happens next happens. I think it really is going to be one day at a time for awhile. Or sometimes less. And decisionally....I am operating in faith here....for this day anyway.