"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now." Matthew 6:34a The Message
This was today's offering from Inward/Outward
Scattering New Blessings
by Edwina Gateley
Often we anxiously seek the will of God,
as if God had gleefully hidden dreams for us
deep in unfathomable places.
As if it were God's intention
that our whole lives be spent
in endless searching for signs and directions
buried in obscurity.
The will of God is that which brings us
peace and fullness of life.
The will of God is the seed of our dreams
ever gestating with possibility
and longing to leap forward
scattering new and surprising blessings
in our gray reality.
It was one of those things that I had to read and read again. It especially hit me in light of how scared I am right now and the struggle I am having with trying to believe in "all will be well" as something more than an abstract act of my faithful heart. I have been so amazed by the last several years of my life, how it's all come together. How I finally found all of these things that I love to do in a place that I like being with people I love...so many blessings scattered. God's will manifest? Apparently.
So my reality right now is indeed pretty gray. I cannot see the seeds of dreams nor do I feel that anything is gestating here. But then, as my former mentor priest used to say, "God is God and I am not, thanks be to God".....perhaps that is where God's dreams come in....God's dreams that are bigger than mine could ever be, able to see light in darkness, life in death.
So this is the end of the month of official watching for God. It was a little more intense than planned, a little more challenging. But I am grateful that I was looking for God on purpose as all this hard life stuff transpired. It kept bringing me face to face with that famous question "where is God in all this anyway?" I must have asked myself that a hundred times this month. And I kept finding the answer. In whatever it was, God kept showing up. Not always where I expected, not always where I wanted. But there. Always there. Because that is assuredly is what God is doing. Being there. So when God says, "Do not be anxious" there is a good reason not to. So said the faith heart to the worried brain at the end of the long month of watching God.