Friday, October 31, 2008

God Watching Day 31 The Final Edition

"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now." Matthew 6:34a The Message

This was today's offering from Inward/Outward

Scattering New Blessings
by Edwina Gateley

Often we anxiously seek the will of God,
as if God had gleefully hidden dreams for us
deep in unfathomable places.
As if it were God's intention
that our whole lives be spent
in endless searching for signs and directions
buried in obscurity.
The will of God is that which brings us
peace and fullness of life.
The will of God is the seed of our dreams
ever gestating with possibility
and longing to leap forward
scattering new and surprising blessings
in our gray reality.

It was one of those things that I had to read and read again. It especially hit me in light of how scared I am right now and the struggle I am having with trying to believe in "all will be well" as something more than an abstract act of my faithful heart. I have been so amazed by the last several years of my life, how it's all come together. How I finally found all of these things that I love to do in a place that I like being with people I many blessings scattered. God's will manifest? Apparently.

So my reality right now is indeed pretty gray. I cannot see the seeds of dreams nor do I feel that anything is gestating here. But then, as my former mentor priest used to say, "God is God and I am not, thanks be to God".....perhaps that is where God's dreams come in....God's dreams that are bigger than mine could ever be, able to see light in darkness, life in death.

So this is the end of the month of official watching for God. It was a little more intense than planned, a little more challenging. But I am grateful that I was looking for God on purpose as all this hard life stuff transpired. It kept bringing me face to face with that famous question "where is God in all this anyway?" I must have asked myself that a hundred times this month. And I kept finding the answer. In whatever it was, God kept showing up. Not always where I expected, not always where I wanted. But there. Always there. Because that is assuredly is what God is doing. Being there. So when God says, "Do not be anxious" there is a good reason not to. So said the faith heart to the worried brain at the end of the long month of watching God.


Rev SS said...

Prayers that next month is better, and that no matter what, you keep watching for God.

mompriest said...

I hope that life settles down and resumes for you more of that fun and joy you were having awhile ago....still, this was an intriguing month, grateful for your reflections...

Kathryn said...

That sounds like a good place to end the month...a foothold amid all that turmoil. Great words - thank you for posting them

Magdalene6127 said...

Amen, friend. Blessings.

imngrace said...

No words. Just a deep sigh that somehow in God's wisdom turns into a prayer. Keep your eyes open.

Ruth Hull Chatlien said...

Oh, I hope you'll keep seeing God turn up.

holyfoolishness said...

ditto what mompriest said - I too am grateful that you shared this "month of official watching for God". thank you!