Monday, October 27, 2008

God Watching Day 27

"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now." Matthew 6:34a The Message

Just some random things running through my head tonight.....

I so wish that I could draw! I would do the illustration of Josephine's comment from yesterday's post....me with the shoes burying me. Actually I wish, for the sake of some clarification I could illustrate myself buried in the true situation. But it, for a whole host of reasons, is not bloggable right now. What I can say is that I took some actions with good intent in what I saw as the best interest of another person. These were interpreted by some folks in another fashion entirely and the result was some very significant untoward consequences in my life, which I have been referring to as "the other shoe falling" or in this case, an entire closet full of said shoes.

So we are almost at the end of the month of watching closely for what God is doing. It has not been exactly what I was expecting. I have to laugh at myself even as I type this...we are after all talking about God here, are we not? It's not quite as tame as looking for things to be grateful for, I guess. And this thing in my life has kind of thrown another wrench in my neatly laid plans of watching for God in my lovely little life and made me look instead for God in my pain and my fear and my doubt. Clearly not the places I would choose to look, but clearly the places God is.

As I was falling asleep last night I was thinking about the outrageous audacity of experiencing the God of the universe as my "wing" and the absolute wonder of being so sure of the love of that selfsame God that I do this without batting an eye.

One of things that this whole series of events has done is helped me get in touch a little more with what it is like to be powerless. It has caused me to think more about justice and who it is who has voice in this world and who does not. It has increased my empathy for those who are caught between rocks and hard places. Perhaps those are not bad things to get in touch with...though given a choice, no doubt, I would rather have done it some other way.

5 comments:

Magdalene6127 said...

Forgive me if I'm repeating myself. When my marriage was falling apart, I cried with a woman who was really an acquaintance, not a friend. She said that her marriage break up had taught her compassion. My reaction was... I don't want or need that lesson right now, not in this way. But... with hindsight, I can see what she means.

But the pain of that time was real. You continue to be in my prayers!

zorra said...

(o)

Katherine E. said...

Yor thoughtfulness and insight continues to inspire me, Kate. I'm so grateful for your blog.

Blessings to you...

imngrace said...

Hanging on and hangin in with you.

mompriest said...

kate, indeed our lives are following along a line of symmetry in the circumstances, or at least, similarities in the reactions to things said and done...I've had so many shoes fall that now I just expect it. For every day I feel good I just know that the next day something will happen...now, over time I am actually becoming desensitized to it...I hope that is a good thing...?

..and I've been thinking a lot about painting again....like taking a silent retreat just to paint....

prayers for you....