"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now." Matthew 6:34a The Message
Just some random things running through my head tonight.....
I so wish that I could draw! I would do the illustration of Josephine's comment from yesterday's post....me with the shoes burying me. Actually I wish, for the sake of some clarification I could illustrate myself buried in the true situation. But it, for a whole host of reasons, is not bloggable right now. What I can say is that I took some actions with good intent in what I saw as the best interest of another person. These were interpreted by some folks in another fashion entirely and the result was some very significant untoward consequences in my life, which I have been referring to as "the other shoe falling" or in this case, an entire closet full of said shoes.
So we are almost at the end of the month of watching closely for what God is doing. It has not been exactly what I was expecting. I have to laugh at myself even as I type this...we are after all talking about God here, are we not? It's not quite as tame as looking for things to be grateful for, I guess. And this thing in my life has kind of thrown another wrench in my neatly laid plans of watching for God in my lovely little life and made me look instead for God in my pain and my fear and my doubt. Clearly not the places I would choose to look, but clearly the places God is.
As I was falling asleep last night I was thinking about the outrageous audacity of experiencing the God of the universe as my "wing" and the absolute wonder of being so sure of the love of that selfsame God that I do this without batting an eye.
One of things that this whole series of events has done is helped me get in touch a little more with what it is like to be powerless. It has caused me to think more about justice and who it is who has voice in this world and who does not. It has increased my empathy for those who are caught between rocks and hard places. Perhaps those are not bad things to get in touch with...though given a choice, no doubt, I would rather have done it some other way.